2. You Better Work
In this episode, Merritt shares an update on her quick but fun weekend trip in Austin, and a solid hangover cure she discovered on her visit! She goes through her favorite Emmy’s red carpet looks and the one outfit that makes her cringe. As a true crime fan and follower, Merritt also touches on the current Gabby Petito case everyone has been talking about. For the meat of the episode, Merritt chats about all things work – her experience working in a regular office setting vs working from home, her best tips for staying focused and being productive wherever you are, and her rambling thoughts on “hustle culture” from the perspective of a self-employed blogger/influencer. She also chats about her experience with ADHD growing up and how that’s effected her work over the years!
In this week’s Beck and Call segment, Merritt answers questions on fall wedding guest style and her own recent experience with taking the high road. Call into the Beck and Call hotline at 214-620-0473 to ask Merritt anything!
EPISODE AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION
Hey guys, welcome back to the beck and call podcast. I am your host Merritt Beck. I am a fashion and lifestyle blogger, a 34 year old single woman living in Dallas, Texas. And I'm so excited. You're here for my second episode. If you missed the first episode, you'll get a good introduction on me. I shared my origin story in episode one. So you'll learn my background, how I got into blogging, and why I'm you know, launching a podcast. So definitely check out Episode one if you are new to me and just want a little bit more info. Last week, we left off with me heading to Austin for my mom's birthday weekend, which was so much fun. I arrived in Austin around two o'clock and just hung out with my mom around the house until we went to dinner. And that was a great night it included lots of wine, so we didn't feel too hot the next morning, but we satisfied ourselves by hitting up a delicious food truck that I have to tell you guys about it's called biscuits and groovy. And they basically serve three, they're different selections, but what we ordered were the three open faced biscuits that you could put toppings on. And so I got the Aretha and my mom got the village and they had both different toppings but mine had gravy, bacon, sausage, chives, cheese, I can't remember if there was something else. But y'all, it was incredible. And honestly the perfect hangover cure. And a great casual spot, you can also get it to go. But it was so good. I can't remember if I just said this, but it was down by the Peter Pan mini golf on Barton Springs. And anyway, it was just really good. And I recommend it. If you're looking for a casual spot for breakfast or brunch, or you know, just you know, trying to ruin your diet. It was delicious. And after our enormous breakfast, we spent most of the day by the pool. So naturally, I felt like a beached whale, but it was fine because we were at my mom's house and no one could see something hilarious happened when we were at the pool, but let me set the scene first. So my mom has an infinity edge pool. And in the pool is also a hot tub and the edges of the hot tub are partially submerged. And I'm not sure how it all works, it does stay warm. But if you're looking at it from the top, you can see the edges it's like a square hot tub within a kind of rectangle sized pool and the hot tub edge ends and then there's still a few feet of space between the edge of the hot tub and the edge of the infinity pool. And we were out there just laying out swimming, etc. My dog was out there with us because I wanted her to be able to kind of hang out and you know, enjoy it as well. And she a bird landed on the Infinity Edge part of the pool and she saw that you could walk across the pool from the hot tub ledge, not knowing that there was a drop off into the pool at the end of the hot tub. And she ran right towards the bird and just dunked right into the pool. It was hilarious, but also had me a little panicked because she's not a big swimmer. French bulldogs and English bulldogs are notoriously bad swimmers, they're heavy. Don't have long legs. So of course I jumped in shoes and all after her to get her I had my sandals on because I was walking around and I snagged her so she could get out but it was kind of hilarious. She was definitely shaken up a bit but she's brave because she kept trying to get back over there even though the bird was gone. She kept kind of walk I had to have the leash on her in the pool because she kept trying to walk across that little hot tub ledge and I was worried she was gonna actually walk to the edge of the pool because you know don't want her fallen over of course but she was definitely trying to keep doing it and she's so funny and I had the best time with her but I mean I'm gonna have to watch her it's a good thing I don't have a pool at my house here in Dallas
Now let's jump into the latest! So the Emmys were last night and I'm gonna say I'm I'm not loving a lot of the red carpet looks lately Met Gala included I mean Met Gala is always usually kind of costume-y which is why I don't like it as much. I mean they do have fun with some of the looks that they do but some of them just are crazy and I just I'm sure I should appreciate it but I just don't I just prefer you know, I love the glam. I love the glitz. I love all of that. I'd rather it look like that than some crazy costume personally, but the Emmys were last night and there were some great looks but for the most part I was sort of underwhelmed. I feel like That's the word of the year. I've been underwhelmed by most of these things in the last year, but there were a few standouts that I did like I loved Kerry Washington and that silvery lie like Etro gown which would look terrible on me but I thought it looked amazing on her and that colors very on trend for the fall season. It looked sexy, appropriate for the event. Elegant it had this sort of tie at the bottom is kind of like a course it would but then it was sort of a sultry, silky kind of cowl. That's probably not the right word but neckline. She looked stunning. And then another one I really loved was Yara Shahidi she was in a green like a bright green kelly green Dior haute couture off the shoulder dress but the full skirt it felt very vintage it was beautiful. I loved that look. Emma Korean from the crown look kind of ridiculous. She was wearing a kind of looked kinda like a pale yellow you mew dress with a matching bonnet. It felt very handmade still. And then she had these Talon length, black nails. It was very bizarre. Now that is a look that I would expect from something like the Met Gala, but not the Emmys. Very weird. Gillian Anderson was wearing a Chloe It was sort of like a cropped, white textured silk top that had these long tassel details on them, which was actually really interesting. I again, probably not something I would wear myself, but I thought it looked really chic on her. And it had a matching white skirt. It just it was different. And kind of felt a little more casual than some of the other things which maybe made it felt more modern or cool. But I really liked that look on her. It was really, really neat. And then another look I really liked but it felt a little early in the season to be wearing it. Ellen Pompeo was wearing a black velvet jumpsuit that had this Silver Crystal embellishment throughout it had these puffed shoulders a high neckline. It was a really cool jumpsuit. It's by Elie Saab. But being that it's September, and I'm sure it was really hot. I can't imagine how uncomfortable she was. But she looked beautiful. She had a high ponytail. I really liked the look and thought it was appropriate and different and fun. But, you know, definitely felt a little early in the season be wearing something so heavy speaking of velvet, to men who are wearing it, Jason Sudeikis. And Bo Burnham, both of whom I love, were both wearing velvet suits. I thought Jason Sudeikis pulled it off a little better. His was sort of a pale blue, whereas Bo Burnham was wearing a kind of cobalt blue was darker. And Jason, it looks like walked away with most of the Emmys thanks to Ted lasso, which was a great show. But overall, like I said, you know, I kind of expect more from these red carpets. Or maybe I'm just used to them being more glamorous with ball gowns from years past, but I feel like this year especially things have been more casual people have been, I don't know, it's just it's different from I feel like what it used to be. So I just continue to be a little underwhelmed by them, but it's still fun to see. And on a very different and very sad topic. I'm sure you're all following the Gabby PITINO case, it's been heartbreaking to watch and this week, they recently found her body and she is if you're unfamiliar, she and her boyfriend were traveling and visiting all these national parks in a van that they've kind of decked out to stay in. And he came home and she did not and there's documented evidence of them kind of having some disputes on the road. There's like cam footage from the cops and different things. And I mean, obviously it's suspicious that he came home and has not cooperated with the investigation. He hasn't spoken to police and then his family just a few days ago said he up and left and they have no idea where he is. So I'm suspicious of him but I am heartbroken for her her family and I can't imagine what she she went through what they're going through. I hope that there's some resolution and closure that they can get from this but I will be following this and thinking about them
alright, so for today's main topic, I wanted to talk about work. Yes, that's vague. I'm not going to talk about every subtopic within the topic of work, but I did want to talk about hustle culture, my experience working from an office versus working at home. best tips for setting up a schedule, staying on task being more efficient when working remotely and that kind of stuff. And then obviously if you guys have any questions about this further, feel free to call in the beck and call hotline and leave a voicemail, the number is 214 six to 00473 any questions you call and leave a voicemail I can share on the podcast in future episodes. So absolutely call if you have any questions about anything I say here or just any other topic you might think of. Now this may be an overshare. But I thought to start it might be helpful to talk through kind of my issues with focusing because as we get into talking about working remotely, this will definitely come into play. I have had ADHD my entire life. I was diagnosed in like second or third grade. I was on Ritalin for those first few years and then in middle school, seventh and eighth grade, I switched to Adderall freshman year I changed to Wellbutrin because Adderall was not a great fit for me. I like didn't eat anything. I was in a bad mood all the time. It just wasn't a great medicine. For me anyway, then I got on Wellbutrin. And that was also not great. It didn't do anything. I felt like I was not taking medicine at all. And then Concerta was the medicine I took from sophomore year in high school until I was about 2425. And decided to stop taking these meds. What I really had trouble with was audio stuff. So like when I am listening to a teacher, if there are two people next to me that are talking, I cannot listen to either one, I cannot digest any information. I am too distracted. It is something that I've always struggled with on and off medication. But with the medication. It definitely helped me through school. It also helped me stay focused when doing homework and testing and that kind of thing. But I still struggle with this audio issue. It's something that I this is why I do work the way I do. And I'll tell you a little bit about that later. But I wanted to just start with that kind of background just so you know where I was at. So like I said, before I got off my medicine when I was 2425. And it was sort of accidental, I had just moved back to Dallas from Houston. And somewhere in the move I lost my medicine and thought, Well, why don't I just try not using it. And I honestly haven't used it since. But for the first couple of years of that it was definitely a struggle. Because at rewardstyle where I worked, it was an open concept office, which meant none of us had offices, we were all just in these long desks all shared. And part of my job was to be on phone calls with brands. And I had so much troubled with this because so many people around me were also on phone calls or people would be chatting next to you. I mean, the the culture of rewardstyle is so fun, a lot of young fun people work there. And so everyone's friends, there's always a happy hour, something fun going on. And so that was something I majorly struggled with there. I eventually had to start taking all of my phone calls from the conference rooms. But that was really my biggest struggle working in an office setting. Once I started working from home, I had very little issue with focus simply because I was able to minimize the distractions, especially the audio ones, I don't listen to music or podcasts or have TV on in the background when I'm reading or writing. Those are the two activities I cannot do. There's somebody talking, or if anything's going on in the background, I have to have complete silence when I'm doing things that require me to read or write. Now, if I'm doing collages or some other mindless task, I can definitely listen to podcasts, it always comes down to if I have to like formulate words, or read words or do math or anything like that I've got to have complete and utter silence for those activities. So after I worked at rewardstyle I probably tried to work from coffee shops a handful of times and it just never worked for me I could never concentrate and it was probably the sounds but also just visual stimuli people moving constantly new people coming in people I knew saying hello I just I could never like I've never understood how people can work in a coffee shop like it would drive me nuts to have to do that every day. Working from home has been honestly the best gift ever. And I know that not everyone is great at it which is why I wanted to tackle this subject today and share my tips as somebody who has long struggled with focusing and staying on task. Working from home has actually been great for me because I've been able to control every aspect of it. One thing in particular that is really helped me is having a dedicated workspace. When I first worked full time for myself. I was working from the couch which was kind of great. It was really fun like It was as it was my first time working for myself of course I fully took advantage had the TV on was working from the sofa was super comfy, I never got dressed. But after a while I started having serious neck and back issues from hunching over my computer on the couch. I also just didn't get as much work done, I felt lazy for not getting ready for the day, it just, I don't know, it didn't set me up for success working from the couch. And so once I moved to a desk, which it was actually at the time, just my dining table, that helped me so so much. And another thing that helps so much, especially with the neck and back issues was to get a monitor and monitor riser ergonomically, it helps so much because your eyes are lifted, you're not hunched over, you have better posture, it helps in the long run, I've had Tech's neck before thanks to doing what I do. I'm constantly looking down at my phone. And so this has helped that issue tremendously. I highly recommend if you are working from home, even if you're not even if you're working in an office, if you don't have a monitor or a monitor riser, you can get them for pretty cheap on Amazon, I got lazes monitor, I want to say for like 100, something in the riser was like 20 bucks. So like, that's pretty good. I feel like if it's gonna help you long term and make you more comfortable, I highly recommend doing that. Something else that helps me a lot and I think is important for people who work for themselves or work remotely is to establish working hours, regular hours. So maybe that for you, it's 8248 to five. For me, it's 10 to six because I know I like to work out in the morning. And if I don't it throws off my whole day. So having that morning routine is really important to me to get my day going right. And so my working hours and lies, his working hours are 10 to six, that's when she's at my house and we're working. And so every night at six o'clock, I know I can turn off my computer and be done for the day. Now with what I do, I'm never really turning off. I'm always on my phone. I'm posting stuff to stories on the like to know it app, I'm still working technically, but at least I have the peace of mind knowing that I do not have to open my computer again until the next morning and on the weekends. Setting those boundaries has been so important for my work life balance and having just having a better lifestyle, I've been able to be more flexible, making plans with friends and that kind of thing. When I've set those boundaries for myself, I also think maintaining regular work hours makes you more efficient, and it makes you procrastinate less. At least that's true for me because if I know that I only have a certain amount of time allotted to finish these tasks. I will not dilly dally, I will get it done.
I want to hop back to the morning routine, I briefly glossed over it. But it's super important to me to have a consistent morning routine. Because if I don't stick to it, I do feel like it starts my day off on the wrong foot. So for me, that means waking up at almost the same time every day. So it could be six or 630. But it's usually around that time, I'll get up I'll have fruit and coffee all day and walk my dog, I'll come back and work out then I will get ready for the day and actually get dressed. And I know not everybody loves to do that. I totally understand wanting to be in loungewear all day or be in workout clothes. But for me, I feel better. I feel more confident and like ready to take on the day when I look cute. I feel like it outfit, you know, helps me in that area. But if that's not for you, that's not for you. I'm just sharing what works for me. But having that morning routine that I stick to and don't kind of veer from very often has really helped maintain a consistency in my work routine as well. Another great tip that I've kind of figured out over the years and being more efficient, being more productive and working smarter is to tackle the projects that require the most brainpower and effort on my part. First thing in the morning. I am definitely the most alert once I've had my coffee. I'm also just like ready to take on the day, the afternoon. You know, Slack hasn't set in where I'm ready to be done with work. And so any project that requires my undivided attention, I do first thing in the morning I usually dedicate two to three hours in the morning to those things. And then in the afternoon I'll do the more mindless tasks like collages or pinning things to Pinterest or you know other things that just don't require much focus or attention for me. I'm not a big to do list person but I love my iCal. I use my iCal calendar for everything. I blocked everything out. I even used to do my workout classes. But now that I work out from home all the time, it's silly, you know do it every morning. But I block out meetings appointments, I block out time to work on certain projects like my capsule wardrobes, those takes so much of my time. So I want to make sure I dedicate several hours each day when I am working on those. And I only work on those in those hours. It's really helpful for like kind of programming your day and making sure you have enough time for certain tasks on your list. And I'm not great at color coding my iCal appointments and things like that. But my mom is she's her calendar is intense, she's got every minute of every day blocked out and color coded. It's a great way to differentiate what is work, play, miscellaneous, etc. I much prefer having all of my items synced digitally on an iCal versus like a traditional written planner or calendar or to do list. It's just, it's easier for me, especially considering all of my work is digital and online. But that's just what works for me. And then one more piece of advice that I've already kind of mentioned, but it's worth repeating. Minimize distractions. As I said before, I am terrible at working when there are distractions going on, especially when I'm trying to read or write. So that means avoiding noisy places like coffee shops and working in a quiet enclosed space where there are minimal visual distractions, audio distractions. So in the morning, when I'm working on those important tasks I mentioned, I do not listen to music, I don't have the TV on I don't have podcast playing. I am simply working on those things and getting those done. And then in the afternoon when I am not working on things that require my full brainpower, like those collages. I mentioned things that are kind of more fun and mindless. Yes, I will listen to music, listen to podcasts, I could probably do stuff like that in a coffee shop. But just knowing your weaknesses, knowing where you struggle with focus and making adjustments so that your environment is conducive for getting things done. Now let's talk about hustle culture for a minute hustle culture can be found anywhere. But I think in the US, it's really, really bad because we put such a high value on being the best having the most money having the most, you know, properties and things. I feel like as a country, we're pretty materialistic. I also think as a society, at least in the US, we do not value time off or vacation. Like if you even compare maternity leave here. And in the UK, for example, it is wildly different. I also think technology has a lot to do with it. Because now we have access to pretty much anything we want right at our fingertips. We can message any brand, any celebrity, any influencer, any company and talk to them about what we want to see. And not only that, thanks to companies like Amazon, we're used to getting what we want instantaneously. Other companies are now having to pick up the pace to meet the demands that companies like Amazon have set, and how are we supposed to keep up with the demand for more without doing more. And so I feel like just it's a constant cycle of us wanting more. And then brands or bloggers in my example, providing more and constantly feeling like they have to reinvent themselves and offer different content verticals. And I've been here I was starting a podcast.
I'm playing right into hustle culture right here. But I don't think there's anything wrong with working hard. I think it would be silly to say that I think the issue that people have with hustle culture is that you're always striving to be the next best thing. You're always striving for more, you're never actually satisfied with where you are. And I can totally relate to that. As somebody who is completely numbers driven, and is working in an industry where I'm always being compared to other people based on follower numbers and engagement rates. You always have to be evolving and offering new content options because you got to keep up with that demand and play the game. And in addition to that, it's also a popularity contest because of that follower account. So you're always striving for more numbers. For example, for the longest time I was sitting at 85,000 followers on Instagram, I'm now at 87. That should excite me. It does a little. I'd really like to get to 100,000. But you want to know what when I get to 100,000 If that ever happens, I'm going to want to get to 200,300 1000 it will never be enough. And I feel like that is the issue with hustle culture. No matter how hard we work and how many goals we accomplish and how many followers we get. It is never enough to satisfy us. While I know hustle culture is common in every industry. It feels especially noticeable in the influencer industry because I think you're earnings are directly tied to how much content you're putting out there. So that's why there's all this pressure to be posting more more and more, especially for me, because most of my income is made up entirely of affiliate commission. And while I do get brand partnerships from time to time, I get those projects because of my affiliate performance. And if I'm not posting a lot, and if I'm not posting new and exciting content, I'm not getting those clicks, which then turn into sales. And those sales are what brings in the brand partners. So it's all just kind of a vicious cycle. I mean, there are obviously pros and cons to that you can work as little or as much as you want. If you want to make money, if you want to do really well, you do end up working a lot. And so that's sort of been my struggle with this job is setting boundaries and being more efficient with my time so that I'm not working on the weekends and working smarter versus harder. And a couple years ago, I hired Liza, who's my assistant, and she's been working with me for two years, but working full time for me for a little over a year now. And while it's definitely helped take the load off and helped with content. I of course, have just used that extra time to come up with new content. So I'm not really following my own advice, and it's something I really want to work on. I definitely want to work on being smarter about it and not pushing myself so hard. I think it just is never going to end. Well. I mean, like I said before, I'm never going to be satisfied by those goals that I'm setting. So why am I doing it? And the answer to that is I'm doing it because I love it. I definitely wouldn't work as hard or as much if I didn't enjoy what I do. I love being able to connect with everyone. I love creating content. This really is the perfect job for me. And I really can't see myself doing anything else. But I am going to try and work smarter not harder. I really feel like it would be good long term if I didn't equate my entire value to a follower count or comparing myself to other people. I'm sure that's not great for my mental health. I'll report back as I go and see if I've made any improvements over time you guys can hold me to that.
Alright guys, we've made it to the beck and call segment, which is a live q&a I do here. You can call and leave a voicemail for me at 214-620-0473 and I will answer your questions live. Remember, you can ask me anything on any topic. And if you want to be anonymous, just don't use your name or use a fake one. Let's get into the first voicemail.
Hi, Merritt. This is Danielle's in Tucson, Arizona. My question is what are the major no no's when dressing for a fall formal wedding. Thank you.
Hi, Danielle. Thanks for calling in great question. wedding season is here. I feel like the fall is actually easier to dress for wedding guest dress wise because in the spring summer, a lot of the dresses to have prints with a white backdrop. And a lot of pastel dresses that edge close to the white ivory family that you're just unsure are going to work you definitely don't want to compete with the bride. Whereas in the fall colors are usually a lot darker or at least brighter, so that you know you're not going to be competing with wider ivory. You can go with Navy, rust, burgundy, green, you can even do black although I try to avoid black because weddings are a celebration and not a somber occasion but definitely find wear black as well. As far as for it being formal attire. I personally feel like you could do very dressy cocktail. So something with embellishments that shorter. Or you could do a floor length gown. Formal usually means floor length, but I I've been to so many weddings that are black tie and people wear a variety. So I think you can go either way. And in terms of the silhouette. If it is a church wedding, I generally like to pick something that my shoulders are covered a silhouette like that. But you can also get away with wearing a pashmina or something over your shoulders in the church if you'd rather have a strapless or off the shoulder or something like that silhouette. Okay, let's get into the next voicemail.
Hi Merritt. I'm originally from the Dallas area, and I've been following for a few years. And my question is if you could give an example of a time when it was really hard for you to take the high road and maybe even give an example of when you didn't take the high road owed. Wishing you all the success in this new adventure. And I really look forward to listening.
Oh, good questions. So I have struggled with impulse control, especially when I am angry about something. So if something makes me mad, I Don't lash out. But I, I certainly act fast. And it won't ever be a direct in your face thing. I'm always passive aggressive. And I know that's so crappy. It's not something that I am proud of. And it's something that I'm trying to work on. And there was actually an example recently, and I'm not going to go into details, because then it wouldn't actually mean I'm taking the high road. But let's just say a friend did something that bothered me. And I didn't say anything. I'm just letting it slot. I'm not letting it slide. Actually. I'm just, I'm not addressing it. And it's something that really bothered me. But I know that me saying something isn't going to change anything, it's not going to make me feel better. It's not going to make them do anything that I want them to do, I'm not going to get the response that I want. So it's just worth leaving it alone. And I feel like that was an improvement from another situation where this has happened to me several years ago, where I was passive aggressive and said something and ended up making me look bad. So my advice is to not be like me and not be passive aggressive, and just learn to swallow your pride and let things go. That is something that I'm really trying to do. Every day I'm getting better at it. And I can this kind of goes for like Instagram too. When I get a negative comment or a DM I used to just lash out and respond angrily when I got something I didn't like. And now I just delete and block and it has made me a much more peaceful person. Sometimes not engaging at all is the best course of action. Alright guys, that's it for this week. I hope you really enjoyed it. Make sure to call in with more questions at 214-620-0473. I'll be back next week with a new episode but in the meantime, you can follow me on Instagram at Merritt Beck and definitely be sure to review and subscribe to the beck and call podcast. I cannot wait to hear what you guys think and I will see you next week.
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