7. Must Love Dogs
In this longer episode, Merritt discusses the expectations vs reality of dog ownership with brutal honesty, and also offers some tips and tricks to get yourself out of the puppy blues when you first get a dog. Click here for more dog content, tips and links on the blog! At the beginning of the episode, she gives a detailed update on her egg freezing journey (so many shots!!) and trying to coordinate a date during the process! Merritt also discusses the Hill House holiday collection, and gives her review of the Nap dress everyone is so crazy about. Plus, she shares some of her favorite scary movies, past costumes, go-to candy and some other festive content to celebrate Halloween week!
In this week's Beck and Call segment, Merritt answers listener questions on how to style current jean trends and the destinations she's eager to travel to now that the world is opening up again! Call into the hotline at 214-620-0473 to leave a voicemail and ask Merritt anything.
For more podcast content and visual guides to the episodes, follow @beckandcallpodcast on Instagram! You can also follow @merrittbeck and visit thestylescribe.com for fashion content from Merritt.
EPISODE AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION
Hey guys, welcome back to the beck and call podcast. I'm your host, Merritt Beck. I am a fashion and lifestyle blogger. And on this podcast I'm talking about all things life work and love as a single woman in my 30s. Hope you guys have had a great week and weekend. It is Sunday today, and I recorded Sunday last week. And actually a lot happened in just like 24 hours after I recorded last time. So I thought I'd jump right into an egg freezing slash retrieval update, because that is sort of taking over my life right now. So if you'll remember, last weekend, I had gotten my period. And that was sort of the cue for me to call the doctor to let them know. So first thing Monday morning, I called to let them know I got my period. And I thought they'd get me in Tuesday for my baseline, but they actually got me in that morning. So Monday morning, I went in and had my baseline appointment, which if you recall, they do a blood draw. They took like six vials of blood. And then they do a vaginal sonogram to kind of see what your ovaries are looking like. And then that night, I began at the stimulation injections, and I was taking men appear and follistim. And then I also took a pill called DEXA methadone every night. And I did that for a few days. And then Thursday went in for another one another appointment. And that's when they you know, they do the same thing. They draw your blood to test your estrogen levels. And they also do another sonogram to see what your ovaries look like. Because at that point, if you know if things aren't happening the way they want, or maybe you're overstimulated, they might need to adjust the drugs and that kind of thing. So you do go in almost every other day once you start taking the meds. So following Thursday's appointment, I get a call from the nurse to let me know that the doctor wanted me to start taking gainer relics again. So now I'm doing three injections plus the pill. Every night I'm doing the men appear the follistim. And I've added Ghana relics back in which I was taking before the stimulation injections. And I'm taking dexamethasone, I've been doing the injections around eight every night. And they give you a two hour window. So you can do it once you start a two hour window from that time. So seven to nine is basically the window I have. So I've been trying to stay home around eight 830. To do those. I will say I mentioned this in the last episode. But once you ice the area, it is pretty numb, but the men appear stings, you can definitely feel it going in and it's not comfortable. And I also will say that after I've been doing this several days and you switch spots each time but my belly is pretty tender. Like I can't wear jeans. Right now I'm mostly wearing dresses, and leggings and even leggings are sort of rubbing in the wrong spot. It just doesn't feel great. And I feel I mean, it's bruising, I'm bleeding more. And I'm following all the you know instructions for it. But it is getting a little bit more uncomfortable, it does hurt a little bit more. And I can feel the area after the injections, it is kind of sore. But otherwise, it's been pretty manageable. So as of today, I probably have, you know, five days left of these stimulation injections. And then we're thinking that the retrieval is going to happen sometime this weekend. So maybe the 30th now this will all depend on you know what they see this week when I go in for the various appointments. So I'll I may have more a different update next week. But that's sort of what they're projecting. I'm feeling very bloated. And I've heard it only gets worse from here. So that hasn't been great, especially since I'm doing some collaborations right now with the holidays coming up, obviously, you know, everything with work is sort of in full swing and crazy right now. So I shot a collaboration last week, and I couldn't zip the skirt up all the way. It was a little it was a little touch and go there for a minute. But I think the photos turned out really cute. So please, there's that and bloating aside. Another kind of unforeseen issue that has come up in the last week and a half is you know, dating during this process is a little tricky. So obviously I mentioned before that your schedule is sort of, you're not in control of your schedule. So of course you have the doctor's appointments in the morning, who's going on Morning dates, not me. But at night, I have to be home between the hours of seven and nine at some point to do these shots. And I mentioned I think in the first episode that I wasn't on the dating apps, I got off the apps right before my trip to California and it was so freeing and it was great. But a couple weeks ago I got into Raya if you don't know what it is, it's just another dating app, but it's like apparently more exclusive. So I've been kind of tinkering around on that but I wasn't expecting to like set up a date right away, especially as I'm going through this but I didn't match with somebody and we you know, got to talking and We're going to go on a date. Now, it's been a little bit of a dance trying to figure out when we're going to go on this date, because he keeps suggesting times that will not work with my shots. And so I've sort of been cagey as to why I can't meet at that time. But I was finally like, look, this is temporary. Like my schedule is kind of weird right now. And I'll explain to you in person, but now I feel like I have to tell him what's going on. Which I mean, is that something you want to bring up on a first date with someone anyway, after a little back and forth, we settled on Tuesday evening, and I convinced him to go a little earlier. So I think we're gonna meet it like seven and I'm just gonna have to get home by like, 830. So it'll be a quick drink state, but also conundrum I'm not drinking. I'm gonna have to order like a topo, Chico or something. And I just feel like at this point, with both of those things being so unusual for me anyway, I feel like I need to tell him why one I'm not drinking and two, why my schedule is so weird right now. I mean, I could have suggested we meet next week. But I mean, the wine I mean, I feel like this is probably a good exercise for me to go on a date and not drink. I feel like I sometimes use that as a crutch when I'm, like, nervous or anxious or whatever, to loosen me up. So this will be good practice for, you know, doing a date sober, but I just it is sort of an interesting thing to consider, you know, sharing, divulging this information on a first date with a complete stranger. I mean, I'm telling you guys on a podcast. So how private can I really be? I just hope he's not turned off by this egg freezing revelation. I mean, we're all adults. If he is, he's not my guy. But you know, we'll see how it goes. I'll report back next week to let y'all know how that turned out. We've covered my health and dating life. So let's jump into friendships. Because last week, that was the main topic of the episode talking about how friendships have changed in your 30s. And meeting more single people's people in the same life stages you and I've had so many great conversations with you guys in my DMs. Definitely make sure you're following at beck and call podcast on Instagram. I'm sharing visual aids and just talking further about some of the issues that I'm bringing up on this podcast. Anyway, in last week's episode, I mentioned wanting to do more around Dallas in the community, just things that had nothing to do with my job, but something fun where I you know, be in new situations and meet new people and do new things. And so while this isn't totally out of my comfort zone or anything, my friend Alyssa and I went to this two by two event in Highland Park village on Thursday. So two by two is a contemporary art auction that benefits amfAR and the Dallas Museum of Art, but they had a preview event. So their main event was over the weekend, they had a preview party at Highland Park village on Thursday. This preview event featured a selection of the art from the auction and it was displayed in a few of the different boutiques around the shopping center. So when you attended the event, you got sort of a raffle ticket. And you'd go around to each of the boutiques to check out the art pieces, get it hole punched. And then at the end, we ended up at the Conservatory, which is a store on the second floor of kind of one of the main buildings. If you're familiar with Highland Park village, it's above you know Chanel and anthropology and Starbucks and all of those. But you that's where we dropped off our raffle tickets. But it was just a really fun night, lots of fashion and art enthusiast there. It's very stylish crowd. And it was really fun to be out and about again, it felt like you know, the city was opening back up it felt I felt alive. It was great. Now because I'd already started my injections. I wasn't drinking and I had to go home early. So I probably wasn't the best friend date but Alyssa and I had a great time and it just felt good to be out and about again. And speaking of Alyssa she actually has a friend who's willing to teach us mahjong. So we got a small group of four of us to get together to learn this weekend and I'm dying to learn my grandmother played for years and I loved watching her play I've always wanted to learn and I'm looking forward to having something to do consistently. It's like It's like anything like a book club or a Bible study or cooking night or whatever. I'm really looking forward to have having something like this and hopefully I can establish different things like this in my schedule going forward. Onto another topic. I feel like the holidays are officially here only because my holiday lights were installed this week. I know it's early. It's not even Halloween yet. But the guys who did it last year did such a great job and they texted and said I'd get a discount if I did it early. And you know, I don't care. I don't decorate for Thanksgiving at my house in Dallas and I don't celebrate it here. I always go to Austin for Thanksgiving. So I was totally cool with putting up my Christmas decorations early. Now the lights are not on yet. They came and installed them and I told them to come back after Halloween to actually turn them on. But I'm thrilled to have them up already. It's nice to not have to worry about it. And I know that they're you know in over their heads. They're probably so busy with labor shortages and everything and trying to get everything done before the craziness of the holiday season. So I was happy to Do it. And you know what, after Halloween, I'm pulling out my Christmas tree. I love to enjoy my decorations for as long as possible since I'm putting them up. It's actually a lot of work and I want to be able to enjoy them for as long as possible. So I will have two full months with my tree mantel and Christmas lights. And speaking of holiday, my holiday winter capsule comes out this week. I'm so excited about it. And then I'm starting my gift guides next week. So if you're at all interested in you know, holiday style or gift guides, outfit inspo whatever you're looking for this holiday season, definitely head to my blog, the style scribd.com One more note about the holidays. While we're on the topic, the Hillhouse holiday collection came out last week and I was actually very busy. And so I missed I missed the launch, they usually do it at 11am Central Time. 12 Eastern and so I missed it. I was working on the capsule all day I was in the zone. So when I checked later, I just assumed everything had sold out. But I was able to snag two dresses I have yet to get them but I got the LE dress and the green emerald velvet. And then I got the long sleeved velvet dress in the kind of burgundy color that wouldn't have been my choice in the color, but I'm giving it giving it a try anyway, because it looks very comfortable. And that would be something I would definitely wear kind of day to night in the holiday season that this would be a good time for me to give my honest opinion and review of nap dresses. I bought two of them earlier this summer for the first time I bought one that was linen and I bought one that was cotton, I think and to be honest, I didn't love them. Like I didn't love them like everybody else is acting like they love them. Mostly because the smoking is not very fitted. It's I mean, I know it's called an app dress for a reason. But as somebody who has big boobs, I prefer smoking to be a little more fitted, feels more supportive. So good examples of that would be reformation. I find that that the smoked pieces that they have are more tightly sewn, and they just feel a little more firm and fitted and supportive. And also, I didn't love the fabric. So I love the Reformation linen dresses, I feel like they're thick, they don't show sweat that easily. I just feel like it's a little more substantial than nap dress one the cotton or poplin or whatever it was that I got was too thin. I can see sweat immediately especially in Texas, I got the red one. I love it. But I truly can't wear it out and about during the summer because I will sweat in my car and you can see it on the dress. The linen one was fine fabric wise and it's a print, but the fit was off and so I didn't fall in love with those two dresses. Now I'm giving them another chance with these velvet styles because reformation doesn't do velvet styles yet and their dresses and their smock styles. So I'm giving nap dresses one more chance and hopefully I'll really love these because I was hoping for something comfortable like that to wear you know while I'm working from home during the holidays and I think those would be a great option. But as far as the summer styles go I just I thought the cotton fabric was too thin. Don't like that it can show sweat. They also run big so at least the LE dress was running big on me I got the small and it felt so loose I just want more support I guess is all I'm saying. Now I have heard the Brockie Jacquard fabrics are a lot they feel a lot thicker and better. But as far as the thin ones I'm probably not going to buy more of those right now that I've jumped the gun with Christmas and all that talk Why don't we talk about the holiday that's actually happening this week Halloween? I am not one for you know wild Halloween decor I just have pumpkins and mums like regular typical classic fall on my porch but I have a couple of little pumpkins around the house other than that I'm not gonna put like spooky stuff up I'm not gonna put bats on the wall I'm not gonna you know have scary shit in my yard that's just not my that's not my jam. But you know you do you if you want festive fall pillows go for it, but I am i into Halloween candy and Halloween movies. So I thought we could talk about those and some of my favorites right now as far as Halloween movies. Obviously hocus pocus comes to mind but I wouldn't say that's my favorite they're actually making a second one right now so I will be interested to see that when it comes out but Practical Magic and Casper, longtime favorites of mine I was like in love with Devin Sol. And how can you not love Practical Magic? It felt like an equal parts love story and sort of like a thriller. I just loved that movie Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman great duo they should definitely film a movie together again. And while Harry Potter probably doesn't automatically come to mind for Halloween I definitely think about it because you know witches and wizards sorcery it's you know it It's magic. It's got to be Halloween. So maybe after my egg retrieval, I'll do a marathon of Harry Potter next weekend. Those are all very light hearted options, of course, but I also love a scary movie, especially this time of year when you can cozy up on the couch by the fire with a blanket. And obviously, all the lights are usually on or at least watching in daylight. I do not watch scary movies at night because I won't sleep. But I love watching them during the day. Over the weekend. I felt like watching a scary movie. It is spooky season after all. So I put on the ring, which is one of my favorite scary movies of all time. And there's a lot about that movie. That's scary. I mean, there are certain things that pop out that you're not expecting like the image of the girl space after she died. And then you know, some Mara and I mean, they're just a lot of creepy eerie things in it. But the one scene that I can never get out of my head that I always want to watch. It's like why am I watching things that I hate, but it's like you secretly love them. It's when she crawls out of the TV in that guy's apartment. I mean, her her fingernails or lack thereof on the floor and just like the like sketchy movements of her body because she's like coming out of a TV Oh, talk about it, but it's still a movie that I go back to again and again because it is entertaining. And no, it doesn't really give me nightmares. But there is one movie that will and I almost don't want to recommend it because it's it's so I I'm scarred from it. Like I still sometimes have to turn on friends because I like will think of this one scene if my room is dark. And then I'm like, Okay, I feel like I'm having a flashback. I've got to turn off something cheerful. Have you ever seen hereditary, it is so scary. And it's not even like, it's like the first hour of the movie is just like eerie and weird, but it's the last 10 minutes that will make your head explode. And like I said, it's it's mostly like the last 1015 minutes where it really ramps up like the whole movie is eerie and weird, like I said, but it's just the last 15 minutes where you're like what the fuck is happening? I'm losing my mind. This is the scariest thing I've ever watched. Specifically the scene where Toni Collette is banging her head against the ceiling. She's on all fours, y'all. I mean, I'm picturing it right now. You can Google it if you want just to see a still shot of her doing this. It is so horrifying. It is it will you will never forget the image. It is seared into my brain. But anyway, I'll stop talking about the scariest movie alive. Some other scary movies that I like are the shining 28 days later. I love any zombie flick. The Train To Busan is insanely scary too. And what's so scary about that one is most zombie things you watch like The Walking Dead they're walking they're slow you can run away from them Train to Busan they are like sprinting zombies. It is insane. And like you will literally be sitting on the edge of your seat the entire movie. Another extremely scary movie is Hal house. My friend Lee made us watch it several years ago and it is also one of the scarier movies I've ever seen. It is basically a haunted house and it's kind of set up as if it were a documentary like these people are going in to investigate it, but it's it's fake. It's a fake movie, but it feels very real. It's very scary. Definitely watch it with the lights on in the middle of the day. Watch it with someone that one's really scary too. I've never seen any of the paranormal activity movies or the conjuring or anything like that. I don't know why those haven't interested me. I've heard they're really scary, but for some reason, I just have never pulled the trigger on watching any of those but let's move on to happier topics. Let's talk candy what the best things are obviously Reese's I named my dog after a candy so naturally that's my favorite and they have Reese's pumpkins that are great. I actually discovered I really liked the white chocolate Reese's pumpkins last year very delicious because they are so sweet. I know most people say that they prefer dark chocolate to like milk chocolate or white chocolate I want the sweetest thing there is so I want milk chocolate or white chocolate every time I'm also a big fan of Mr. Goodbar I know That's so random. It's just Hershey's chocolate with like peanuts chopped in it or whatever but I don't know I just really like it. It's just a delightful crunch. I also love a butter finger actually haven't had butter finger in a long time. I need to get some before this holiday this weekend but the love butter finger I love KitKats always love KitKats and I love that they're bringing flavors here. I got a ton when I was in Japan but they are starting to add different flavors here in the US too which is very exciting. The Outlier of the group is Swedish Fish. I love Swedish Fish The worst candies out there are licorice Tootsie Rolls. I also I like sour patch kids, but I definitely don't want them to be taking over my candy bowl because those will be the last to go I'll usually just throw them out if those are left. I'll only eat a few of them because they make your mouth all wrong, you know, but I'm still going strong with my original bowl of Halloween candy. I have been eating a lot of ice cream through this egg freezing process. So I've been distracted from the Halloween candy. So that's probably good. I think I'll be able to stick it out until this weekend and not have to buy any more candy. And then I thought it would be fun on Instagram. I'm going to share a visual guide for this but I thought I'd go through some of my Halloween costumes over the years so definitely go to at beck and call podcast on Instagram to see photos of the evidence of all of this, but here's some of my best and worst costumes over the years. So the first one is probably the worst, but it's actually kind of cute and you wouldn't think so. But I'll I'll share it my mom dressed me up as a clown as my first Halloween costume. Can you believe her? I actually look more like a court jester like the outfit is not clown ish, but it's a clown y'all. And then when I was like really little I was a pumpkin I was a princess at one point I was a tango slash Latin dancer so like thinking me on crop top and flamenco skirt or whatever. And then you know everyone was a Power Ranger one year I decided to be the yellow Power Ranger because I never liked pink. So I was training I think that was her name. I was the yellow one. And then one year I was Mariah Carey complete with fake nails and a feather bow up I curled my hair. I mean I went all out I was such a fan. I feel like I didn't try very hard in high school because I thought I was too cool for it. I probably I probably did dress up for Halloween but I truly don't remember and I have no photographic evidence so I'm not sure what I was for Halloween in high school but in college I was a theta and you know K T those are the letters so my go to was always a cat. It was easy I could just wear black and get cat ears and then draw you know the nose and whiskers so that was a go to of mine in college but then there was also one time I was rainbow bright. What Why did I choose that? It's like sexy rainbow bright. I'll be sure to share a photo of that too. It's kind of stupid, but I thought it looked cute. And then one of my favorite adult costumes. I haven't worn a costume in a while but this was in my early 20s This was at the height of when True Blood was really popular that show on HBO max it was very vampire heavy. I dressed up as Sookie Stackhouse and I had the Merlots t shirt and the matching apron. I curled my hair and put it in a low ponytail to the side. And then on one side, I had bite marks on my neck like I went all out and I thought I looked like her. I mean, it's Anna Paquin. She's blonde, but that was that was my probably my favorite costume. And it was pretty easy and comfortable and short jeans and a white t shirt. It was great. And that year we went to ghost land observatory, I think there were ghillies or one of those other big Dallas venues. But I feel like for some reason ghost land observatory always had a concert on Halloween. I feel like I did that for several years going to their concerts, but they were always so fun and so great. Who remembers those? I'm probably not going to be dressing up this year, but I will be handing out Halloween candy. I'm going to dress up Reese's, I ordered her a sushi costume and a pig costume both of which are too small on her I got her a medium which is what her size is in dog clothes. But the costumes are running small apparently. So I ordered instead of getting another sushi costume because I did get pictures of her in it. I ordered a bigger size in the pig costume because I think that would be really perfect for her. She snorts a lot like a pig. And I thought it was really cute and the hat was just too small. So I will definitely be posting photos of that when it comes in. But you can see photos of my costumes and her sushi costume on the Instagram page. So follow at beck and call podcast on Instagram. All right now we're to the latest and I feel like the first thing we have to talk about is Kate Middleton's incredible red ensemble from this week, she wore a red turtleneck like cherry red perfect for the holidays with a matching red pleated mini skirt. And it was such an incredible look it perfect for the upcoming holiday season. I would love to recreate that and I did some searching before this before recording this and there are a bunch of red pleated skirts available but they're all like $2,400 They're all Valentino and you know, insanely expensive. So if any brands are listening, let's work on some red pleated skirts that are under a grand thanks something else incredibly random, but worth noting Mariska Hargitay who is the lead actress and Law and Order SVU celebrated 500 episodes of that show. Isn't that crazy? She's been acting on that show for forever. I have been watching SVU for decades and I still love it but I will say I got rid of cable and I moved into this house and I haven't watched it at least the recent seasons as closely but I still it is my go to whenever I'm in a hotel or even when I'm visiting my mom and she has cable if it's on I'll just put it on and have it on in the background. It's it's the best. And speaking of TV, I am just blowing through billions y'all. It is my new favorite show. I am in season four already. I'm just now at the point where there's sort of the Russian oligarch he's working with and then Taylor is has left and is doing their own firm. And so I feel like that's about to blow up. I feel like x is about to exact some revenge. It's such a good show. And I love David Lewis. He's so great in this role. But I did read that he's actually leaving after the current season he's filming I want to say it's five or six. I hope it's six because I would love to get another two seasons in, but he's leaving his wife died earlier this year, which is heartbreaking. But he wants to spend more time with his kids. But I'm loving this show, and maybe it'll go on without him. I'm not sure. I do hope and maybe it's happened already. Don't tell me but I do hope that before he leaves he and Wendy hook up, I want to see it. I feel like they have so much chemistry on screen and I I know that she's married to chuck but I feel the vibes and I want it to happen.
Alright, we finally made it to the main topic of this episode. Sorry for all the personal updates. This is definitely going to be a longer episode. But hopefully you'll like it. Let me know. The last week I mentioned that I was planning to do a dog episode all about kind of the expectations versus reality of it all. And so that's what I'm going to do this week. I'm always receiving questions about what I use with her how we travel like different tips and tricks, her favorite beds, literally everything I get so many questions about Reese's, and you know our situation our routine. Now before I even get into the topic of dog ownership. On my blog, I have so many blog posts linking her exact beds, all of the details. I even last week did a post on traveling with her for the first time I flew with her to California in August. So there's a post about that. Lots of great information on the style scribe so definitely head there and you can just search for dog or Reese's or puppy and there are a lot of different blog posts on the subject. Now that that's out of the way. Let's get into it. So like many people, I love dogs I grew up with two we had Bonnie the Beagle and Lacey the lab love the alliteration there. And both of those dogs were outdoor dogs because my sister was allergic to dogs growing up so we couldn't have them sleep in the house and hang out in the house because she you know, had really bad allergies and asthma and all those issues. And before anyone comes for me for having an outside dog when I was little. We're very spoiled. They had plenty of space to run around. They had covered patio space, they slept in the garage when it was cold and that we even had like igloos with heated beds. I mean, they were very spoiled. But anyway, I say all of that to let you know that I never really had I've never had experience living inside with a dog like having it wake you up at night or you know, having to take it out. Like I've just I never grew up with that. So I didn't have that experience to work with. When I got my own dog. I knew several people in college who got dogs and I really wanted one and I tried to like convince my mom to let me get one. I'm sure I could have done it myself. But she talked me out of it. And I'm so glad she did. And I actually ended up getting an internship through the Exxon Mobil community summer jobs program here in Dallas and I worked at the SPCA of Texas so that sort of satisfied my craving for a dog. I played with them all summer, but then didn't have to deal with the responsibility of taking them home and caring. And then after college, in addition to working and all of that I was traveling so much, especially when I quit my full time job at rewardstyle in 2014. My travel like exploded I was going somewhere new every month and it wasn't just weekend trips because I was working for myself and getting good content on those trips was part of my job. I've took full advantage I was going internationally for two to three weeks at a time I was going new places every month it was the dream but like that would have been a terrible time to get a dog so I did not get a dog I kept putting it off and putting it off and then the pandemic happened after about a month of quarantine and being alone in my house. I and that's when we figured out shelter in place wasn't going anywhere like we were under quarantine they kept extending it that's when I was like okay, now's the time I can do it I'll be home all the time. This is a great time to get a dog I can train it I'll it's not like I'm going anywhere. It just seemed like the perfect time to get one since I'd be home so much and completely alone. So once getting a puppy was a done deal. I was so excited and I knew it was gonna be challenging but you guys know me I'm such a planner. So of course I ordered all of the things I downloaded several books I read the art of raising a puppy and I read some other stuff that I can't remember off the top my head but that was really helpful in the beginning in terms of like setting a schedule. I ordered a crate I ordered so many toys I ordered a few different foods to try because I hadn't obviously taken her to the vet yet I just you know, wanted to have a variety. I got everything. So on one hand you could say it was the most prepared to get a dog on the other And I was so unprepared, I knew getting a dog, any kind of dog, Puppy, adult dog, whatever would be challenging because it's going to be, you know, changing of my routine. It's, you know, a responsibility I didn't have before, but I was so unprepared for how it would truly affect me. And like, I assumed the first few nights were going to be rough. Like I've heard, you know, getting a puppy is hard, you know. And just like everything else, I heard that I didn't believe it. I didn't think that I couldn't handle it at that, you know, just like everything else, I would take it on, head on and get through it. But what I also didn't know is how much lack of sleep would affect me. And I think that's really what, what messed me up the first week I had her I am someone who consistently gets about eight to 10 hours of sleep every night, my mom will tell you I was the first person to sleep at any Slumber Party sleep is very important to me. I do not do well on a lack of sleep. And there haven't been many experiences where I've had to deal with lack of sleep. Like I usually am not an insomniac, I don't have you know, any trouble going to sleep now sometimes lately in this part of my age and getting older, but I'll wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and then can't go back to sleep. But if I'm asleep and nothing, you know, happens, I'll stay asleep like I can. I'm very I'm a very good sleeper. And like of course I've had late nights like in college, we'd go out into the wee hours of the morning, but we would just sleep all day, the next day and do it all over again. And it's I just I don't think I've ever had that experience in my life or time in my life where I had to repeatedly like get up, go to work, do things all day, like be on and on no sleep. And I'm kind of starting to understand that this is what new moms have to do. And y'all I am sorry, that is terrible. So of course, considering that I you know, probably got two to three hours of sleep a night, the first two weeks of having my dog. And that was such a mindfuck for lack of a better word, because I like I said have never had an experience like that. And I I honestly didn't know how to function. And then on top of the lack of sleep, when you're up, you have to be on every second and watching everything they do to make sure they don't eat something they're not supposed to or get stuck under a piece of furniture or pee on something like you're trying to teach them to go potty outside. I mean, you're constantly watching them like a hawk, but you have no energy to do that. And like everything I was reading, especially the art of raising a puppy says you need to get them on a schedule, especially if you're crate training and trying to potty train because they thrive on routines and you know to take them out to go potty right after you do get them out of the crate right after they eat right after they play right after they sleep. It's you're constantly having to follow this routine and schedule and I maybe it's me being a perfectionist or control freak or what I don't know what but I was like really hard on myself trying to stick to it and mad at myself when things weren't going right. I just felt like I wasn't doing anything right. And I also could not just relax and enjoy it. And I I've seen other people get dogs and do fine. My friend Katie just got a dog and she's the cutest thing ever. And I feel like she's doing such a good job. And she seems so relaxed. And I'm like, how are you? Like, I honestly think the lack of sleep and feeling out of control. Like sent me over the edge. Like I feel like it made me so overwhelmed and really ran me down and I feel like I might have had my first taste of what depression must be like, and I'm not I'm not being light. I'm not joking right now. Like it was so bad. I was having a meltdown. I was crying. I was like so down. I felt so hopeless, helpless, anxious. I was like, I've made the biggest fucking mistake of my life. And I know what you're thinking. It's just a GED dog. It is a dog. It is a puppy. She's the cutest thing ever. But I was in so deep. I thought about giving her back. I was like, What have I done? It was pretty rock bottom for me. And I know that sounds ridiculous. But that's that literally is what it felt like. And I called my mom I talked to my sister and both of them were very worried about me and I was alone here in Dallas. Like no one was staying with me. Of course, it was middle of quarantine. They couldn't come visit me. I couldn't see my friends. And I was like losing it up here. And I decided to post about it on Instagram stories and I was crying on my Instagram stories. I don't think I've ever done that before then or since then I have not done that. I'm not a crier. I'm in fact and we can talk about this on another episode but I am somebody who likes to stuff my feelings down. That's something that's gotten me through past tragedies in my life. And so being emotional is not in my nature anymore. And so the fact that I was even doing that is wild. But I'm so glad I shared because I have never received so many DMS everyone was so encouraging. And just like validating what I was saying and saying, I went through the same thing with my dog, the first few weeks are terrible, the dogs are cute. And that's the only reason they are able to survive this first few weeks at home because it is such a rough adjustment, and no one talks about it. And everyone was telling me puppy blues are real. I had never even heard that phrase, and someone recommended the Reddit thread. I mean, I was getting messages left and right of supporting things telling me I just had to push through those first few weeks. And that was literally everything I needed to hear. And this may be sharing too much. But that week made me question everything. I've always wanted to be a mom growing up, I always thought I was gonna have kids like I love I love babies. I love kids that week, that first week with Reese's made me like you can't do this, you are not capable of raising a kid this is you are bad at this, this is not free. Don't do it. And honestly, I'm still dealing with those feelings. It really, really shifted my perspective on you know, how much responsibility I can handle how in control of things I need to be I mean, I, I had such a hard time letting go and just relaxing and enjoying, I felt like I needed to control every aspect of every second of every day. And I it was it was really, really hard. And I just I'm not I'm not sure I am cut out for it. I truly am not after that week with her. And it gave me a lot to think about. But I am glad I shared it because like I said, I got such great positive encouragement, I, you know, I was able to push through, she's obviously still my dog. But I really wish I had known all of that, like, I wish somebody had sat me down and been like you're in for a rude awakening, because I like I knew getting a dog would be hard. I just didn't know that I would be depressed, I didn't know that I was gonna be like, so, so overwhelmed that I would want to give her back like I didn't know those things. Like I'm sure that that informations out there. But maybe I just didn't believe it, I I just want to make it clear to everybody that if you're at all like me, or you know, value free time, or travel or, you know, not having responsibilities, or your control freak, maybe getting a dog is not for you. But obviously with that said everything so much easier, you know, a year and a half later, she's going to be to in February. And I mean, she's a much easier dog than she was when she was first a puppy, but she's still a dog, it's still a ton of responsibility. And so like I have to border when I travel, that's expensive. If you want training, you obviously have to pay for that. That's expensive. vet bills are expensive. She's a bulldog. So she's particularly stubborn, even though she's been trained, you know, she she does like to fight back. Sometimes she doesn't always like to do what I asked. And so there are frustrating things about it and your time is still not your own. Like I have to come back and let her out throughout the day. Like if I have a really full day and I'm not here or whatever. I'm always having to think about that. And I know I probably sound so selfish, but as somebody who's who doesn't have kids, and there's never had a dog or anything to take care of over the last, you know, 12 years, it was a huge change for me. And so I just feel like that's that deserves to be said if you've never had a dog, like just maybe consider all of the facts what your life is going to look like once you get it your your time is no longer just your own. And I feel like this goes without saying but I'm gonna say it anyway, I love my dog as much as I complained about you know, the first couple months of having her I'm so happy to have her. She's the best we have our little morning routine. We you know, she's my cuddle, buddy. She's so sweet. She loves everybody. She's the she really is the best little dog. She's my favorite thing. But I do think it's really important. No, come here. She's trying to escape the pod Studio. I do think it's important to talk about these things because getting a dog is life changing in good and bad ways. I mean, getting a dog as a major commitment financially timewise I mean, a lot of responsibility. And I just think it's important to look at all sides of it before getting one if you're someone who likes to do whatever you want when you want you don't want to be bound by anything. Don't get a dog, but getting a dog has been so rewarding for me. She's so sweet and adds so much to my life and I'm so happy to have her I just thought it would be good to show kind of the good, bad and the ugly of all of it. Okay, now that I've talked about kind of the expectations versus reality for me, I thought it would be helpful to share some tips that really helped me out For that meltdown that I got from a lot of you when I was going through it. So like I've said before, I'm a really good sleeper, but I'm a light sleeper. And she was in my room and her crate. And that was a huge mistake. The the book that I read suggested to have her in your room the first few nights, so you can hear when they cry. I mean, I could have heard her cry down the hall, truthfully, my house, my last house had very thin doors, so I could hear her in the kitchen, which is where I eventually put her crate, but like there was nowhere in the house, I wouldn't have heard her it was a very small house. And so I moved her out of my bedroom, I put her crate in the kitchen. And that helped a lot because even if I could hear her, she couldn't see me or hear me as much like I would go to bed and it would just be quiet. Whereas if I was in the room, she might hear me roll over or whatever. And every time she heard something, she'd wake back up again. So moving her crate to another room for nighttime for sleeping was huge. Honestly, the sleep thing was the biggest thing because I think on lack of sleep, I just didn't have energy to deal with any of it. So if you're like me and need sleep, that would be my first piece of advice, but them in another room. Don't let them sleep in your bed. Don't let them don't put the crate in your room. Just don't put them in your room. My second piece of advice is to use the crate the very first week if you are crate training. So the first night like I said, I put her in the crate. It wasn't my room, which was a mistake. But I started using it night one and fed her in it, she would always sleep in there. And the goal is to create only positive associations. So never use it for punishment. I never put her in there. If she's acting crazy. Like if she's zoomies, you want them to be very tired when they go in the crate, because then they'll associate it with sleep and relaxation and rest. And I know not everybody does crate training, I wanted to do crate training because I know it'll keep her safe. When I'm not at the house. I want her to be confined to an area that she's not going to get into trouble. She's not going to escape. She's not going to eat something she's not supposed to. She's not going to destroy furniture, she's not going to pee on something. It's just It's safer for her. It's peace of mind for me. And also because Bebel dog behavior the trainer that I selected that she went to boot camp, they do crate training whenever she stays with them, she boards with them when I travel, they use crates and all of their dogs are in crates, they she got so used to it when she was there, the first few months were hard. But after she went to bevel she is perfect in her crate. And I think it's because she got used to being around other dogs who were comfortable in their crate. And so that was really helpful actually sending her there for the boarding and training. But I am really happy with the crate training. She loves it. Now it took her a while to get used to it just like anything else, but I'm really happy with it. And since we're on the topic of Bebel dog behavior. Another thing I would really recommend when you get a puppy or new dog or whatever is hire a trainer to come out early on even if you can't send them to training right away. Like if they're too young Reese's, I couldn't send her until she was like eight months and was fixed. But I did have Brad come out, I think month two that I had her and he helped me with Leash training. And so he was there for a couple hours we walked around the neighborhood, he showed me how to more effectively guide her and give her commands. And that was super helpful just being more effective in my communication with her so we can communicate better with each other was so helpful early on, even if you know we weren't getting any other training. Another very important thing I learned from Brad is that exercise is key. Obviously all dogs need stimulation both physically and mentally. But I didn't realize how much how much they needed. So Brad told me that she needed to be going on a 45 minute to one hour walk twice a day. And Playtime is not a substitute for exercise, you got to do both. And that is part of our routine. Now. I will say in the summer it gets too hot for her to walk in the afternoon. And Dallas weather is all over the place. So I also got a treadmill and it's in the closet of my office. So I just roll it out on days that I'm either too busy to walk or in the afternoon say Have a happy hour or dinner or something right after work. That is when I'll put her on the treadmill I'll be working Liza will be there and she'll just be on the treadmill for 45 minutes to an hour but most of the time I walk her twice a day and it makes all the difference. There are certain days that I don't walk her twice and you can tell at night that she is just bouncing off the walls you know she's got a lot of energy she wants to play she's you know doing more destructive things. She's got running zoomies around the house she might be doing just things she's not supposed to be doing. She does more of those when she's not tired. And so it's definitely been clear to me that exercise is key and keeping her fulfilled and balanced and and mentally and physically stimulated and we definitely play a lot. She's got toys everywhere we play like every day afterwards. But the walks are really important for, you know, the exploration, but also just exercise, I mean, just playing around the house is not going to be enough for at least my French Bulldog. And over the years, I'm sure she'll like go on shorter walks. But for now, it's two very long walks a day. Unfortunately, the treadmill I bought races is now sold out, I just searched a dog treadmill on Amazon and found it. But Brad also recommends just a foldable treadmill like ones that you can hide in your closet. And those work really well. But you do need to train your dog to walk on it, they're not going to automatically know how to do it. So that may take some work, I'm sure there's a way to Google it. Or you could reach out to bevel dog behavior. And I'm sure they do a virtual consulting. But that's a great, great option. If you have a busy lifestyle and work from home or you know where you live, the weather isn't conducive to walks all the time. Having that as a backup is really, really awesome. And then of course, this goes without saying but sending her to boot camp for training definitely made a difference. I mean, obviously, it's not a one stop shop quick fix, I have to continue the training at home, I can't just like stop doing what they were doing there. So it's like a constant thing. And honestly, she needs a touch up. When we were in California, we sort of got off our normal routine, and she didn't have her raised bed there. So I will be sending her back to bevel for about a week in November. And I'm actually going to be boarding her when I go to New York as well. So hopefully she'll get a little touch up when she's there. But definitely recommend that if you especially if you have like a stubborn breed or you want help with socializing your dog to be around other dogs, bevel has been so great for that. And all encompassing, they do everything. And I'd actually love to have Brad on because I think he has a lot of great information. He's got a great philosophy on dogs and dog ownership. So I think it would be fun to have him on at some point and do a little q&a or something. So I'll let y'all know when we do that. But for now, you can check out Bebel dog behavior.com. And they are huge on Instagram too. They do a lot of great content there. And I could go on and on and on about Reese's, and different tips and things that have worked for us and I'm sure there are other episodes I will do on dog owners. But I think that's all I really need to say today. obviously feel free to call in and ask questions and I'm happy to answer during the beck and call segments. The number is 214-620-0473 We're about to get into those voicemails so stay tuned.
All right, like I said earlier, we're now to the beck and call segment calling the hotline at 214-620-0473 You can leave a voicemail and ask me anything and I will answer in a future episode. Let's jump into the first voicemail.
Hi, Merritt. I'm not sure if it was better as a newsletter or a podcast question that I'm really struggling with how to choose and style non skinny jeans. I'd love to branch out to some plastic or it's been a great lifestyle, but I don't know how to style them without looking aggravated like sloppy and funky. Or like I'm trying to be an 18 year old man. Do you have any advice for how to style kind of like those non skinny jeans while still looking like you're put together and like a grown ass adult. Thanks so much. Take care. Bye.
Absolutely. So I mentioned this in the last episode, but I'm I'm pretty bad about trying new denim trends because I feel like my figure only looks good in certain shapes. Like I feel like a skinny jeans just looks better on me. But I do want to branch out I want to try some new styles. Bear with me as I figure it out, but I do know how to style them. It's more just me getting comfortable with how they look on me. But I do think like a crop flair, wide leg crop. I do think the straight leg jeans I think those all can look really chic. You just have to pick the right shoes. I think on top you can sort of do whatever but as far as shoes go, I think a pointed toe mule is really cute. Whether it's healed or flat. I think that just looks really sharp and chic. I think you can do a heel bootie but you've got to play with the length of the gene so it either needs to be cropped right where the edge of the ankle shaft is on the boot or it needs to be slightly longer because you don't want it to look like high water so you don't want to have a lot of skin showing between the top of the boot and the gene but you also don't want it to be too long. So you may just have to sort of play with the different links order a few pairs try them with different shoes. I also think they look really cute with like golden goose sneakers so just a chic pair of sneakers that you could wear with T shirts, sweaters, etc. With those crop flare jeans or straight leg jeans. I think that's a cute look. Obviously that's more casual. You might think that looks frumpy I'm not sure but definitely Like a pointed toe shoe is going to be helpful and elongating your legs. So like I said before a pointed toe mule or a pump or a flat pointed to boot, those would be really attractive, flattering shoe shapes for that kind of Jean style. Now this is sort of an expensive suggestion, but I really love Manolo Blahniks may sail shoe style, they've got a flat mule, and they've got a heeled mule and it's a pump and it's got a buckle and it's a monochrome look. So whatever color it is the buckles the same colors, the shoe and they're all suede, if I remember correctly, but I love that shoe look right now it's very on trend. And that would look so chic. With any of the jeans you described. I'll include a picture of that shoe style in the Instagram that I post for this episode. So definitely go to add beck and call podcast to see what I'm talking about. But I think a shoe like that would be so cute with those jeans, any kind of shoe like that I feel like would look polished and pretty and feminine and MIT to kind of dress up the jeans a little bit more. Alright, let's jump into the next voicemail.
Hi, Merritt. I'm loving the podcast. I wish it was two times a week. I know you're working on it. Well, I hope you're working on it. But my question to you is, with travel opening back up somewhat. What are your five destinations that you would revisit over and over again every year if you could? Thank you so much. Bye.
Oh, I love this question. I am dying to pick up traveling again, especially internationally. I've already got New York on the books I'm going to summer and that's definitely a place that I've been wanting to visit again, it's my favorite place to visit especially during the holiday season. So festive and cheerful and charming. But another place I'm dying to go back to is London. It's probably my favorite city in the world. I lived there for a hot minute in 2015. And I've been a bunch of times but I also love it this time of year. It's like New York there are lots of lights, lots of Christmas decorations everywhere. It's just one of my favorite places to be so London definitely is at the top of the list. And I was talking to my mom and sister a few months ago about how much I loved the south of France and Provence and I think that would be such a fun girls trip to take with them. I'm not sure if we can do that next year but definitely in the next few years. I would love to do that with them. I had a great time on that trip with my friend Megan Donovan who lives in New York and then another place that I'd love to go back to that I haven't been to since 2009. I went with my mom to the Amalfi Coast and loved it and I feel like that was before I mean it was before you know the Instagram boom. And so while it was I'm sure touristy at the time. I can't imagine how much it's changed since then and how busy it's gotten but I still would love to go back. I particularly loved Positano that was definitely my favorite we stayed at last year in news it's just this magnificent hotel on the cliffside beautiful views amazing, amazing service, incredible food. I mean, you really can up top that place. I would also love to go back to Japan. It is one of my very favorite places I've ever been. I've been twice, both times with Jessica sturdy, who writes bows and sequins in Chicago. She's another blogger friend of mine, and we went once in the fall and once in the spring and I would love to do both times of year again, honestly, the food is incredible. Of course, it's kind of like Italy gives you everything. You have beautiful landscapes, you've got shopping, you've got incredible food, a lot of history. It's just it's a really, really special place. Plus, they love tourists. They love Americans and they're so kind and everyone's so helpful and friendly over there. I just love Japan, but honestly, I would go anywhere. I'm so ready to get back out there and travel and see more of the world and explore. It's just my favorite thing to do. Alright guys, that's it for this week's episode of beck and call. In the meantime, you can follow along on Instagram at beck and call podcast. You can also follow my personal account, which is at Merritt Beck for more fashion content. And of course, please be sure to rate review, subscribe, share whatever you're willing to do would mean a lot to me. I really appreciate you guys continuing to listen and follow along and I will see you guys next week. Bye!
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