16. Bonus Episode // Q&A Exclusive
As a Christmas gift from me to you, here's a special bonus episode! The entire thing is a Q&A - I'm answering a bunch of questions submitted by listeners through the hotline (214-620-0473) and via email. I got through as many as I could in under one hour! I'll be sure to answer any questions I didn't get to in future episodes... thanks for listening and happy holidays!!!
Follow along on Instagram @beckandcallpodcast, and visit beckandcallpodcast.com for more info!
EPISODE AUDIO TRANSCRIPTION
Hey guys, welcome back to the beck and call podcast. I'm your host Merritt Beck. I am a fashion and lifestyle blogger. And on this podcast I'm talking about all things life work and love as a single woman in my 30s Hello, hello. And if you are listening to this on the day that this episode is released Merry Christmas Eve Eve. I hope you guys are having a wonderful holiday week leading up to Christmas so far. I mentioned this in last week's episode, but today I'm releasing a special bonus episode and it is a q&a exclusive. So I had a bunch of you calling right in and submit questions on a variety of topics. And so today's episode is totally dedicated to answering each of your questions. Now I'm going to get through as many as I possibly can without going over like an hour, hour and 15 minutes. And if there are any leftover, I will be sure to answer them in a future episode. So I already do I answer about two listener questions every week, pretty much. There have been a couple times when I haven't if I've been going on too long and talking too long. Or on the days I've done interviews Those typically are longer episodes. But generally I answer to listener questions at the end of every episode. So like I said before, if yours doesn't get answered today, I still have it on a list and it will be answered at some point. But with that, let's just get right into it. This first question was submitted via email and it's lengthy, so just bear with me. But the listener writes, I'm 33. And my boyfriend is 35. We've been together for nearly four years we moved in together after after a few months on a house have a dog. I mean, we both feel like we're already married. We've had a few road bumps along the way with finances, each of us changing jobs, the pandemic, etc, that we've had a delayed engagement. Well, the time is finally here. Finally, I picked out a ring he has the money saved up and we're in such a good place. My question is on the whole tradition of an engagement story and purchasing of the ring, we have a shared credit card in which we pay off at the end of the month respectively to get the travel points, I kind of want him to just put the ring on the credit card and pay it off so we can all get those airline miles is that totally tacky. Also, this is just me being a micromanager. In our relationship, I kind of want to help execute the ring purchase, for instance, you'll save nearly $2,000 If he has the ring shipped to a family member in Texas to avoid the sales tax versus Tennessee's high sales tax. That whole process overwhelms him. I know he'll just end up going the more convenient route and spending more than he needs to my boyfriend totally doesn't mind the joint effort here. But I guess my concern is how it's perceived by family and friends in the South. To me, I just want to go together and buy the ring and voila, we're engaged. But then what's our engagement story? That's embarrassing. Do I need to go the more traditional route and let him figure out the ring purchase and how to propose I have a feeling if I keep waiting around, it will take him even longer to figure out logistics. I'm just ready, ready to be married and move on. Okay, so here's my answer. I think you can do whatever you and your partner are comfortable with doing. I think what you decide to tell your friends and family members about how it happened is also totally up to you. You don't have to share every detail of how this came to be if you want to go ring shopping with your boyfriend do it so many people I know have done that if you're gonna split the purchase or help him with the purchase in any way whether that's telling him to ship it to somebody in Texas or just like literally helping with the purchase. So you can you can do that. That's totally fine. Nobody needs to know that what I do think would be fun. And again, this is a it's not unsolicited advice. You're asking me but I've never been engaged. So I don't know. Like if there are do's and don'ts here, but I would probably still want the proposal to be a surprise. It's one thing to like pick out the ring. But I there's something exciting about you know, not knowing when he's gonna do it like is it gonna be after dinner some night isn't going to be when y'all go on a trip to proposal really gives him a chance to step it up and surprise you and say nice things and just make it really special. I just think I'd still want that element of it a little surprise have a little mystery behind it. Even if I know what the rings gonna look like the actual purchase of the ring. I mean, so many people help their partners find rings that they like because they're spending so much money, you want to know it's going to be something you'll love and cherish forever. And so that part I totally get wanting to shop and find the right one together and even going as far as purchasing it together. But I still think there's something special about having the engagement itself the proposal be a surprise to you. So I would still let him do all of that. figure out the plan for when he's going to do it, how he's going to do it. But as far as the purchase, and like all the backstory behind that, and how he actually got the ring and paid for the ring, that's nobody's business anyway. So please do not feel like you need to come up with some story or feel like you have to lie about it. Just don't bring it up. And when people ask, just say, it's not really I don't know, I'd probably come up with a more tactful way to say that, but it's your story. So do whatever you want. But I like I said before, I would still want the proposal to be a surprise. So maybe let him do that. And you'll have a story to tell.
Merritt, this is Nancy in Houston. And I love your podcasts. You've mentioned Mahjong a couple times. And I feel like that would be really fun activity for me and my family, my parents, how did you get started and any recommendations on a Mahjong started to Happy Holidays!
I'm so glad you asked this question, because I've had a lot of questions about it on Instagram, since I've been posting about it pretty often. But I highly recommend getting somebody who is good at it and knows how to play teach you and your parents. And if it's just the three of y'all, the person who teaches you can be the fourth player in the game. And that's really the easiest way to learn because you sort of learn as you go as you start playing, you figure it out. The most complicated things have to do with the suits, like knowing what all the characters mean. And then they're just certain things like the Charleston, which is like when you're first opening the game, you're like moving tiles around and switching and swapping with other players. There are just lots of little details that you start to pick up on as you're playing. But you really need somebody who's pretty knowledgeable in it to teach you and guide you as the game is going along. The friend who taught our group gave us a printout with some really helpful details. And I'll see if she's cool with me sharing it. But assuming she is I will put it on the Instagram page. So follow at beck and call podcast. And I'll post some photos of it to stories and maybe do a story highlights so you guys can refer back to it. But it has all of the kind of definitions of all the suits and what they mean, like the flowers versus the cracks versus the dragons and the BAMs. I mean, there's just a lot of kind of random stuff you don't have any idea about and she made a little guide for us that was super helpful. But like I said before, it's really key to have somebody who knows how to play teach you how to play. Now, as far as what you'll need to get started, you really just need to order one Mahjong set, I ordered mine from Amazon, I think it was like $147, I wanted to just get the basics. So I could learn all of the correct characters because you can buy like really nice Lucite chic sets and things online. I mean, there are several companies that design very stylish Mahjong sets, but they don't often have the exact same characters as traditional Mahjong, and I wanted to learn with the basics before stepping out on something else. So I ordered the Amazon set, I'll include a link on my stories on Instagram for you guys to check out. So I got that you also will need the card for the year you're going to play because it's the end of the year, you'll obviously want to buy the 2022 card that comes out this next month, we've been playing with the 2019 card because we're just learning and she the girl who's teaching us only had that available. So those were the plays that we were playing with. And they like I said, release a new card every year. So this next year, you'll get the 2022 card, and that'll be a completely different set of plays that you can use in your games, then was on the 2021 card. If that makes any sense. It is really complicated. There are a lot of different details, like I said before, but as long as you have somebody who knows how to play, you have a car, everybody at the table has the same card for the plays, and you have a solid set, you should be good to go. And the first maybe three or four games were kind of a challenge. It took us a little while to get into it and remember what the names of things are and how different the end like how discarding and picking up and dealing worked. So there are a lot of details, like I said, but after a few games, you really start getting the hang of it and it just starts moving faster and faster. And you'll you'll get it no time. It just the first few times are a little slower. But I highly recommend doing it. If you can find somebody in your area that would be willing to teach you. It's so much fun. I'm really enjoying learning and I'm looking forward to playing more in the new year. Alright, this next question was submitted via email and the listener says I know you have several close blogging friends around the world and I'm curious how you stay close slash keep in touch with friends who live far away. First of all, I'm honestly not that great at keeping up with people who don't live in my city. I'm actually very bad at this.
I think Instagram has helped a lot because you feel like no time has passed you Keep up with people on their, you're replying to stories, you're commenting on their photos, you're liking their photos, I may text with people occasionally to talk about various things that are going on. But generally, I feel like a lot of the communication I have with friends that don't live in Dallas, it's on Instagram, which is sad. But it's also kind of helpful because when I do get together, I feel like no time has passed. And I guess I'm just one of those people who can always just pick up where I left off with people. And because I follow along on Instagram, and we're connected there. And occasionally in texts, I feel like we were never apart for very long. So like, for example, I saw my friend Megan, who I've traveled with before, but I hadn't seen her since kind of, I think the fall of 2019. But I saw her for the first time since then, on my New York trip. And it was like no time had passed. And I think she's one of the people I did zoom with a couple of times early on in quarantine. But other than that we've just like, been DMing each other, texting each other here and there. I'm not a big part. I don't love to talk on the phone. I'm not a big phone call person. But the main way I've found to stay in touch has been Instagram, which probably isn't the answer y'all were expecting. But that's just what's worked for me. And like I said it just every time I see my friends, even if I've only seen them on Instagram or texted with them at no time has passed, it feels like.
hi, Merritt. I'm really enjoying your podcasts. And I have a question. So with the holidays here, I'd like to know how you would handle perhaps a friend or somebody who you are and good acquaintance with getting you a gift and you hadn't really prepared to get them a gift. I always feel like if you give me something, you should get something in return. I know not everyone feels that way. And I surely don't feel that way. If I you know, give somebody something, I don't expect anything, but maybe the southerner and may just feel like it's appropriate to if I'm given something to return something, and we'll just see how you handle that. Should it be kind of of equal value, or I do kind of keep like a little box of like extra things like maybe additional candles or something that I pick up. But do you think that it would be more appropriate to go out and buy something maybe it's equal value, or, like if they get a gift certificate from Annie, Petey return the same type of gift, I'm just kind of at a loss because some of my friends kind of out of nowhere will get me a gift for my birthday or holidays. And again, it's not something that we talked about upfront, so I wasn't expecting it. And I don't know if I should reciprocate. So if you dealt with that you probably have if you have any tips for how to handle that I would be greatly appreciate, I would greatly appreciate your feedback. So thank you so much bye!
first of all I can totally relate. I am not a gift person, it is not my love language, I truly would never expect any of my friends to get me something. Now I will occasionally get my friend something like for example, I was in Germany a couple years ago, exploring the Christmas markets. And I found these beautiful angel ornaments that were really small and easy to pack and take home. And they weren't expensive, like they're probably five to $10. And I got a bunch of them and gave one to each of my friends. And that was a super easy gift. I was not expecting anything in return. Never would have it was just I was there, I thought they were pretty. And that was a unique gift from my travels. Now I don't give my friends a gift for every holiday or every birthday, I might get flowers for a friend on their birthday. Like I said, if I spot something during the holidays that like makes me think of my friends. Or for example, this year, I got a few Diptyque candles, which I really love, I saw that they had some holiday ones still leftover. And I was very excited to get some. So I got a lot and decided to give a few of those to my close friends. But again, I would never expect them to match that value or give me something that nice or more nice. I'm not expecting anything in return. It was simply just a nice gesture. And I think that's true of all the gifts I give like if I give flowers to a friend on their birthday, I'm not expecting that in return. For me quality time is my love language. So anytime I can like get together with them for dinner or lunch. That's that's a real gift to me. And that's how I'd like to be you know, gifted, but some people do love gifts. And so you might just need to have some gifts on hand for those particular people. I don't think you need to reciprocate every single gift that you are given. And if this is becoming a problem or you're feeling guilty, maybe have a conversation with them. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Just like make your own judgments on a case by case basis because I guarantee not everybody who's giving you a gift is expecting one in return but there may be one or two that gifting is their love language and they would love it After the return, and again, you can have a conversation with them or just like pay attention to who are the people that are giving you repeat gifts, or just doing doing it a lot, and maybe set aside some gifts to have on hand when those people do give you gifts, so you're not feeling guilty about it. Alright, this next question comes from an email as well. And the question is, how do you stay motivated to wake up early and work out every morning? And can you share more about your morning and evening routines. So I definitely think this comes down to well, it comes down to a couple things. One personality type, I am type A, I'm an Enneagram. Three, I love a routine. Like I think I've always been like this, I may not have always included an early morning workout routine, but I love having a set schedule. It's like the control freak in me, I like a plan, like I know what's gonna happen during the day. I also have just figured out over the years that if I don't work out in the morning, it's just not going to happen. I can't work up the motivation in the afternoons like some people can. So while you know, you may be surprised at how I'm able to do them early every morning, I'm surprised by people who can do them every night. By the end of the day, I'm just like, I'm throwing in the towel, I can't, I can't commit to an afternoon workout, unless I like am going with a friend somewhere. But I know that if I get it done in the morning, I've like done something great already. I feel like I've accomplished something, I can check it off my list and never think about it for the rest of the day. It's just it's just how I like to start my day. But as far as where I get the motivation to do the workouts every morning, part of it is my job, I have to take photos of myself in clothes and share them on the internet. And, you know, I want the clothes to look good on me. I want to feel confident when I'm taking those photos. It's it's part of my job. And it's like social media and all of that. But also, I know that if I don't work out, my clothes aren't going to fit right my metabolism has slowed way down. And I definitely think part of that is due to taking ATD meds for so long. When I was growing up, it just like fucked up my metabolism. And I also love to eat and I'm not gonna like only eat salads just to maintain a trim figure. And so my workouts are my way to counteract the, you know, delicious food that I'm eating pretty regularly. Now, I definitely look better when I'm eating a little better and not eating pasta every night. But I still enjoy pasta I still am and I'm still enjoying the things that I love. And working out is what allows me to do that. So when you pair that wanting to eat like great food, and also wanting to look good and close working out just there's no other option, you got to do it. So anyway, all that to say is I think if you had to wake up and like take photos of yourself every day, and you were like I'm pretty critical about myself, you'd probably be more motivated to work every day to. But if you're looking for some tips, my main suggestion would be do what you can to make it a habit. don't work out just once a week, like try and put it on your calendar, check it off the list, like make it part of your to do list. Like I don't feel like my day is started until I finished my workout. And then that's when I shower and get ready for the day. You just got to make it part of your routine. And by doing it first thing in the morning, I don't have time to talk myself out of it. I do it right after I walk Reese's, and then I'm done with working out for the day. That's it, I do think finding a workout where you feel like you're making progress is important. Because you want to know that the time you're putting into it, you're getting benefits from it. So whether that's you want to lose weight, or you're just trying to, like see more muscle if you're trying to get a little more defined and toned up, or maybe you just want to get stronger, I think it's really important to find a workout where you feel like you're reaching goals. And I mean, maybe that's just man maintaining how you look, it could be anything, but for me, I really like knowing that each week, I'm getting a little stronger, maybe my clothes are fitting a little better. I like seeing those like benchmarks. And then finally, I think it's so important to find a workout you actually love. So if you're dreading the workouts that you're doing, you're going to find a way to talk yourself out of them. So try a bunch of different kinds of you don't know what you like, maybe try orange theory, which is a combo of running. It's like a boot camp. So it's like running, rowing and then weights. If that sounds too intense, try yoga or pilates. Maybe you don't want to like buy a bunch of equipment and you also don't want to go in somewhere, go on walks, go on runs. And honestly during the pandemic, I feel like we were made aware of all of these really insanely amazing workout fitness apps of things you can do at home or even ones that have studios. We're doing stuff online. I mean, there's so many different kinds of workouts you can try at home in studio there are just so many options. So don't limit yourself, try a bunch of things, find things that you like. And you'll be more likely to stick with it sort of answering this question in different parts. But as far as waking up early, I'm just an early bird. I'm a morning person. Liza also comes to my house every day. I think if I was by myself all the time, I probably wouldn't wake up as early head start my day a little later. But I want to be I want to be showered by the time Liza gets here. And so I've got to walk Reese's, I've got to work out and then I've got to get ready for the day. And that takes time. So that's why I wake up early. And honestly, it doesn't bother me because, you know, I pretty much wake up between six and seven every day, even on the weekends. Even if I try to sleep in, I'll just wake up early because my body is used to it by now, again, like the working out, you just have to make it a habit. Like if you sleep really late on the weekends, and then try to wake up at six on a Monday, it's really hard. But if your body is used to you waking up at around the same time every day, it makes it a lot easier. Now in terms of my actual routine, I'll just give you a quick rundown. So I'll usually wake up between six and 630. I will make coffee, I'll eat breakfast, which is lately I've been eating little Quaker Oats oatmeal packets, I'm really liking the peaches and cream, or I'll have a piece of fruit like pear or peach or something like that. Then after that I will walk Reese's, we usually walk for about 45 minutes, and when I come back, I'll sit down and have a little bit more coffee, maybe some water and then put her in her crate and go upstairs and workout. And most of the time my workouts are like around 45 minutes. But lately they've been shorter, because I've been really busy. But as we go into the new year, I'm gonna step it up and go back to the 45 Minute to an hour workouts. And then after that, I'll get ready. And that usually gets me till about 930 10am. And then Liza is here and I start my day and work. And then as far as my nighttime routine, obviously, that's a little different every day depending on what I have going on if I have dinner plans or happy hour plans or whatever. But if I'm at home, Liza leaves at six, I may walk Reese's if she hasn't been on the treadmill, because obviously it's dark. Now I kind of prefer when it's really dark outside, I kind of prefer to put her on the treadmill versus Walker at night because of coyotes. And it's just scary. Like, I prefer to not walk her when it's dark if I can. So usually I'll come down at six. And I'll feed Reese's while I cook my dinner or watch TV, and then I'll get ready to go to bed. And honestly, I'm in bed by like 930. I'll watch TV for about an hour and then I'll go to sleep. So as you can see, my routine is not very elaborate. It's actually very simple. But I'm just a creature of habit. And I thrive on a routine. And that's just kind of how I do it. So hopefully this was helpful.
Hi, Merritt, I have been going on the birth dates lately. And I feel like every time I try to get dressed, it feels like I have nothing to wear. So two questions. One is what do you normally wear on a first date? In two is what pieces would you have in your wardrobe just to make sure that you always have something to wear for a casual first day like drinks or dinner throughout the year. Thanks.
Great question. So I definitely have a go to look for dates. And it's always something that I feel like I look my best in so during the warmer months of the year, I will almost always wear some sort of dress and like flat sandals. Because for me I find dresses to be the most flattering on my figure. I feel like it makes me look feminine. But the flat sandals and a more casual bag make me look a little more approachable. I'm not trying to be taller than anyone I'm not super dressed up. So it's usually a casual dress. And I've mentioned this kind of dress before but reformation smocked mini dresses so it's like a smocked bodice, and then the skirt is loose. And it's the ones I have our linen and they're like the perfect first date dress because this probably too much information but it sort of shows off the goods my boobs look good on them, but it's not revealing. Like I don't have a lot of cleavage or anything. They're just like, you know, they just look good, what can I say? But it's a flattering look that I'm comfortable in. I feel like I look great in and then flat sandals are comfortable as well. I don't feel like I look like I'm trying too hard. And that's just always kind of been my first date approach. Now into the fall and winter. Of course that doesn't always make sense. So in the case where I might have to wear jeans, I usually like to wear something over my shoulders like a cape or a poncho or a trench because I have a bigger hip and booty situation going on down there. And I like to keep that area is semi covered up if I can. And so generally I'll wear like a pair of black jeans, a pair of flat boots or just a very low heeled boots. Something that again doesn't look to have too much like I'm trying too hard, nothing too fancy, but then I'll wear like a simple sweater might be a mock neck neutral color with one of those like cape or poncho style sweaters over it draped over my shoulders, or a cute kind of more lightweight trench to throw over my shoulders as well. I just find that those those look really polished and cozy, still casual, but I like to look put together and so those are probably my two go to outfits for spring, summer and fall winter for the transitional times when it's still hot, but you feel weird wearing sandals like in the fall here in Texas. What I did this fall that I really like and I'm going to continue doing that is wearing a cute dress. So any kind of fall ish color I try to choose I try to choose something that feels seasonally appropriate but still lightweight. And then a pair of cute cowboy boots, though that's always fun and they're comfortable. Again, not fancy it definitely dresses down the dress. But that's something I have started doing this year that I really like I think it's super cute. So to recap my go to pieces to have for those date night things. I like to have a good variety of dresses to choose from. So for me in the spring summer, that is the Reformation smocked pieces. I love those. I like to have a few different pairs of flat sandals that I can wear with totes or shoulder bags or whatever. And then in the fall winter, I like to have just you know, plain skinny jeans that I can tuck into knee high boots or an ankle boot of some kind neutral sweaters and then a pretty polished Cape poncho or trench. That's just what works for me and my body type. So I would if you have a different body type than mine, I'm very hourglass view of a different body type. Choose things that you feel the most confident and you feel sexy, you feel like you can take on anything but just make sure that you're comfortable. Make sure that it's something that you can walk around in. You never know where dates will take you. It makes sure that it is not overdressed. You don't want to be the dressiest person there and guys generally tend to under dress so just keep that in mind. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard but just always go for stuff that you feel good in and you feel like you look good in Alright, this next question came from an email. What are some of your favorite design and decor retail shops in Dallas is a great question too. I love Scout design studio the collective macaques blueprint, there's so many good ones and obviously we have the Dallas Design District which a lot of those are trade only. But I also love Caitlin Wilson designs. I've heard cocoa and dash which is also on Henderson is really great, but I actually haven't been in there yet. And then if you're looking for antiques, you can't miss Nick Brock. It's one of my mom's favorite places. I always go with her when she's here. And then of course we have all the typical things like Restoration Hardware and pottery barn and Crate and Barrel in West Elm and Z gallery. We have all of those two. Alright, this is another email submission. Hi Merritt on a recent episode I heard you pronounce Netta portait correctly and realize there are probably many fashion brands that I am likely mispronouncing regularly wondering if you could share a few other tricky ones for those of us needing a crash course and pronunciations. A few that come to mind are Jeevan she and Yves Saint Laurent which I probably just said wrong, but here we go. So one that really stumped me recently that my sister corrected me on I feel like my sister is the expert at this because she works at Neiman's and is constantly dealing with these brands. But she told me that okay, there's a brand that's L O E W E and I always thought it was just low. It's Louie vai never would have guessed that you have to Google it. You can actually Google any of these and say pronunciation and there's like a YouTube channel that does this. But yeah, the one that looks like low is actually luebbe a another one that tripped me up is the gene brand. That's ag O L d i always thought it was a gold. That's how I would like to say it because honestly I feel like a gold D is really not coming off the tongue real hot, but it's a Goldie that's the gene brand. All of the foreign ones are hard if you don't have a good accent, which I generally do not so like dri spend notan Bottega Veneta that's actually pretty easy. belma about my I can't even say you're not supposed to really pronounce the end. We're so bad at that. And then like lava linea. Like, it's just the French ones are hard. Anyway, like I mentioned earlier, you can actually Google any of the names and I usually just type in the name of the brand and then pronunciation and there's either a YouTube video or something that will show you how to pronounce it.
Hi, Merritt. It's Jen from Boston. Congratulations on doing such a great job with a podcast. I really have been enjoying adding it to my repertoire of all my podcasts that I listened to during my power walks each week. So thank you again so much. My question for you is, I think of you as a really goal driven, motivated individual. And so I'm really curious as to what your goals are, that you're kind of thinking about for the next year for 2022. Alright, thanks so much happy holidays.
Thank you, Jen. That's so sweet of you to say, and I'm really, really glad to hear you are enjoying the podcast. So far, I've been having so much fun putting it together, I usually have time to put together some kind of not really even a business plan, but just sort of like general goals for the next year. I have not done that yet, if that tells you anything. But because this podcast is my newest project, and I'm having so much fun doing it. And I'm getting great feedback. Obviously one of my biggest goals if my only business goal outside of just like maintaining performance on my blog, and Instagram and everything is to grow the podcast, I would love to reach a wider audience have more people listen, like specifically people who weren't already following me because of my blog, I would love to reach people and have people listen that didn't know me from there. And obviously one way that you guys can help us by sharing it with your friends posting it on Instagram Stories, obviously, that's really helpful in terms of growing and reaching new people. So definitely growing the podcast, that's going to be a huge focus for me in 2022, I really want to put a lot of effort into making great content for you guys, I hope you've been enjoying it so far, of course, but want to make it even better in the new year. And then like I said before maintaining and growing my blog and Instagram, and I did reach and hit some pretty exciting revenue goals this year, like during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, I had my biggest month ever on LTK. So that was really exciting. And then I also reached just another kind of internal goal, just overall revenue. So really, really good things happening there. And I would just love to continue growing that and reaching new goals. And I know this is so dumb, but I'm so close, y'all I'm so close to hitting 100,000 followers on Instagram, I'm like 10,000 away. So in 2022, I'm going to try and make it happen. Another goal I have is to work on decorating my house more, I don't know when I'm going to be able to finish because like I've said previously, it takes forever. And it's expensive. And I did spend a lot of money on it last year and have been sort of been playing catch up ever since. So I've been kind of holding off on buying anything new the last few months. So I'm hoping that later on in 2022, I'll be able to order some more things like the drapes for the rooms upstairs in my office and a breakfast table and chairs for my kitchen area. And just a bunch of other stuff I've got to get, I've also still got to get the landscaping installed in my backyard, they did the hardscape part, they put the turf in, put the concrete in. But that's all I could afford to do this year. And so I'm waiting to do plants and this probably for the best because you never know we might have another Big Freeze. I don't have a ton of personal goals. Like I would love to get back in shape to where I was before the pandemic started. Because I mean, I've mentioned this a lot. And I mentioned it earlier on, I feel like I'm kind of the heaviest I've ever been. And I'm starting to see progress, which is exciting. But I'm really gonna try and buckle down at the start of the year and get back to it. But I think that's pretty much it. Alright, this question I got in an email as well do the majority of influencers you meet in person actually seem genuine slash authentic slash real or opposite from their persona on social media. I love following you because instead of the curated version of you, I feel like we get the more quote unquote real you if that makes sense. Thanks. Well, first of all, thank you, I'm glad to hear that you enjoy following and think of me as the real me which my friends will tell you it is I am very unfiltered like I am on stories and everything like that. But I also think part of that is because I have a background where I'm very comfortable on camera and just performing I did musical theater I did choir, I've always been very comfortable like putting on a show. And not to say that I'm doing that on stories, but I think I'm just more comfortable on the camera. And so when I'm talking it's literally just me talking just like I'm talking here. It's not like a big production. I'm just I'm very comfortable just like talking to the camera. Not everyone is like that. So there are good things and bad things about that. I think that some people put on a fakie voice or persona because they're trying to come off a certain way, you know, come off as sweet and down to earth. When in real life. Their voices don't sound like that. Like that kind of throws me off sometimes. And I think mostly it's because they're just not comfortable in front of the camera. I don't think they're trying to be deceitful, but it's just it's I mean the camera is there's pressure and you know you you're trying to look and act a certain way while you're on video. So I think that can come into play a little bit. But then of course, there are certainly a few bad apples who, you know, pretend to be really sweet and then are constantly just, you know, talking shit about people or, you know, just only looking for the next the biggest person in the room to talk to so constantly better dealing you looking over your shoulder not listening to you, even when you're in the same, like, successful group of influencers. There's always one of those. But I mean, just like in any industry, there are a ton of really wonderful people in this business. And there are also some shitty people. So just, you just got to know that.
Okay, this next question was submitted, I think via email, and I may laugh only because it seems so formal. And I don't mean to laugh. I'm not laughing at this person. It just, you'll know what I'm talking about when I say it. So somebody said, I'd love to hear about your faith. Are you a believer in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If so, how? And when did that happen? Do you listen to any Christian podcasts? Do you have a favorite devotional? How does your life look different? Because you are a Christian. So I have a complicated relationship with religion and not in like, a super negative way. I just, you know, some things have happened to me and I, I questioned things a lot. So I grew up, Methodist, I was confirmed, baptized all that stuff. Sorry, I just hit my microphone. I did everything that you would normally do in the church, I went to youth groups. I did all of that throughout high school. And then when I got to college, I just didn't really go to church, except for like Christmas and Easter. But also, while I was in college, my dad died. And it was a very horrific tragedy. It was an accident, and totally out of nowhere unexpected, and it just shook everything. Like my whole life was different after that. And, you know, it took me a long time to want to even try to go to church, like I went, you know, to appease my mom, I hope she's, I mean, if she's listening, she probably gets it. But my mom is still very, very religious. She very much believes all of those things, and Heaven and Jesus and God, all of that. But for me, as somebody who I'm like somebody who likes to see things to believe them, I know that that has faith in science, they don't go together, that kind of thing. But for me, it was really hard to justify why, you know, if God was so loving why he would like take away someone so important in our lives in such a brutal fashion. And I've just had a hard time with that over the years. And I don't really know what I believe. I do go to church occasionally. And I was going quite a bit. Like before the pandemic, I would probably go a couple times a month. And what I really like about it is the messages that I get from it, it's not that I'm like, diehard Jesus, but I really like so I go to Highland Park, United Methodist in Dallas. And I really love Paul Rasmussen. He's one of the pastors there. And I just I really love how he puts his sermons together. They're so so well thought out, I always leave with like a really hopeful message for the week. It's all very applicable to my life. It's not just him reading scripture, he like makes it he makes it real. He makes it current and modern and make sense for like what we're all dealing with on a daily basis in 2020 2021. And he's wonderful. And so I was really enjoying going for those lessons. Not necessarily because I'm like, singing my praises to the heavens, but it was a good way for me to start my week. It got me going on the right foot on Sunday, and it gave me comfort. Now in terms of my beliefs, I'm still not entirely sure where I stand and I don't want that to upset any anyone. Please don't come for me. I'm dealing with this as I as I can. So no, I don't have a favorite Devotional. The only podcast that's Christian that I listened to is the My church actually has a podcast and it's the sermons they do every week. It's HP UMC sanctuary, if you want to search it on Apple podcasts, so you can listen to the sermons there. They also do, obviously live stream on their website, which is HP umc.org, I believe, but I don't have a favorite devotional. I really don't listen to Christian podcasts. I wouldn't say my life looks very different because I'm a Christian. I'm, you know, I think we all go through times of struggle, we all suffer at some point. I think we we all have things that we have to deal with throughout our lives. And there's kind of an ebb and flow with, you know what we believe and maybe that's not true for everyone, but for me, it is and I'm I just I don't know.
I, I'm kind of uncomfortable with this topic, honestly. Because I really don't know. And I, like I kind of want to believe because I'm afraid of my own mortality. Like, I know I'm gonna die someday. And the idea of like, just fading into nothingness terrifies me. And I know that it probably wouldn't if I had blind faith, and that I was going to have it or you know, whatever. But I'm just, you know, I'm taking it day by day, I will be going back to church eventually. I haven't been on it that much lately. And obviously, during the pandemic, I watched it online occasionally, but I wasn't that good about doing it consistently. Anyway, all that to say, Yes, I do believe that there is a God, I believe that there's a higher power. Now, all of the details in the Bible, not entirely sure about all of those. I mean, they were written a long time ago, they were written by men for men.
And also, there are tons of other religions out there, and everyone thinks they're right. Everyone believes that what they believe is the right thing. And but how do you really do? So? I don't know. I just have, I've got a lot of thoughts on it. So anyway, that's my answer. The truth is, I don't know, I'm working on that. And, you know, I will occasionally still go to church because I'm really I enjoy the lessons and I feel like it gets my week off to a good start. And it's just a positive influence. But in terms of like me, super devoted follower to Jesus. No, I'm not, I'm not there right now. And I'm not there yet. And I don't know if I ever will be. And that's okay. Alright, this next question is another email submission. And it reads, I have a tiny LTK account and love to blog for fun. I remember you talking in Episode 10, about how you didn't need to necessarily have tons of followers, but you can still get a high conversion rate and be successful with that. I'm curious what your tips are for finding posting and styling things that people actually like to click and buy? To be honest, I think you're asking the wrong question. Instead of wondering what's going to make you money, like what people are going to want to click and buy, you should be asking yourself, What am I most passionate about, I want to share the things that really speak to me and that I love. And hopefully that will lead to other people liking it as well. But I think if you are going the opposite direction, and asking what people like and will want to buy, you're not really being authentic, you're not, you know, sharing what you really love, you're kind of catering to what the masses might like. And if you look at a lot of the successful bloggers and influencers, they started out with just posting stuff that they really loved. And they built a following. Because of that people connected to their personal sense of style or their aesthetic, or like for me, my audience is a little more willing to spend more money on things because I've been doing this for a long time, it'll be 11 years in January. And I've kind of always focused on a more luxury niche. And so the followers that have continued following me, my audience that has grown has included more and more people that also like similar things. Now, if I was catering to the masses, I would be posting budget friendly stuff every day. Because obviously, the masses are wanting the budget friendly stuff. It's a smaller percentage of people that want the high end designers and getting temporary items just because it's not as affordable or approachable. But that's okay. Because that's that's just been my aesthetic all these years. And that's what I'm excited about and passionate about and want to talk about. But then you look at other influencers that are also really successful. And they're talking about a completely different topic or a completely different price points. So there's so many successful influencers out there that are making a ton of money. And they only do budget friendly stuff, or they have more of a niche with fitness or whatever it is that you're passionate about. That's going to show through with your content. And that's what's going to get people to want to follow you. So I don't want to sound condescending, but I just think you need to think about like what, what excites you because when people see you excited about something, they're going to be excited about it. So to summarize, I think authenticity breeds loyalty. So be yourself. Share what you love. Don't be thinking about what other people are doing or what might make you money, you're more likely to attract a loyal audience who shops with you if you are staying true to yourself and only sharing things that you really like. Alright, we've got another email submission The question reads, you seem to have rather fine hair which just like mine, but your hair always looks gorgeous. What is your secret? Now? First of all, thank you and I would disagree that it looks gorgeous. Thank you just like my makeup routine. I am so lazy. I've been doing my makeup the same way forever. And the same kind of can be said about my hair. I mean, I certainly go through phases of certain hairstyles like right now. have swapped between curly and straight. And that's like all I do, I don't do any kind of up dues. The only time I wear my hair in a ponytail is when I'm working out or on a walk with my dog, but I'm very lazy and I almost never use product. Like of course I wash my hair, I condition my hair. But in terms of actual products like styling product, I rarely use anything. Occasionally if I'm looking for more volume or something, if I'm doing bigger curls or whatever, I might use some mousse like volumizing mousse, I also will occasionally use Bumble and Bumble has sort of a volume slash dry shampoo powder, it does a little bit of both. So I'll use that sometimes if I'm trying to avoid washing my hair and want it to not look oily because I have like you said fine hair and it's really obvious the second there's any oil in it. So that's when I use that and sometimes I use that to add a little texture before curling to that can help but generally that's it. I mean, if I use a lot of product, it weighs my hair down a lot. So I just like to keep things simple and just generally don't use any but I'm happy to share some of the tools and products and that kind of stuff that I use to achieve certain looks. So right now I've been using the way oh a UI or I might be spelling that wrong, but the way products I use just the fine shampoo and conditioner. I do also have the detox shampoo which I love the smell of that one and that one's great for getting out like gunk like if you have a lot of product in your hair like the powder for example the powder I mentioned earlier by bumbling mumble that stuff can kind of build up over a few days and so and my regular shampoo doesn't always get that out but the detox shampoo does and I really love that. I also will occasionally use like a blue slash purple conditioner because I have really blonde hair and I do get it highlighted. I want to make sure it's not brassy. My skin tone does not look good with any kind of yellow or caramel turn tones in my hair I prefer a much more platinum look with cooler undertones and that's what the purple conditioner can achieve. I've used two different brands of purple products. One is the L'Oreal everpure which is easy it's a drugstore fine and then the other one I've ordered on Amazon and it's called Fabuloso it's not the it's not the soap, it's the conditioner so search Fabuloso purple conditioner and you should be able to find that on Amazon. Now as far as tools I have the Dyson hairdryer and it is 100% worth every penny. It is so fast. I feel like every time I travel and have to use one that's not the Dyson I feel like I've gone back in time. It's such a good hair dryer and if it's not on your Christmas list and you don't have one I highly recommend asking for one or just investing in it yourself. You can thank me later with the Dyson hairdryer I use a round brush which helps keep flyaways to a minimum because I blow dry curling it under curling it in and I like to have the if I'm going with the straight hair that day, the round brush one smooths out my hair, but I also like to have it curled under at the end so it's not stick straight. That just gives me like bad 2000s vibes I prefer a little more polished curled under look. When I curl my hair I still do the roller brush blow dry situation first and then I'll use a one inch curling iron or it's a wand rather it doesn't have the clip on it I cannot use those it has to be has to be a one I have a one and a 1.5 inch but the one I use more often with my hair being shorter, it looks better, it feels a little tighter. The 1.5 just gets loose curls which are great if you have the care but my hair just doesn't hold those girls as well. So if you have fine hair, I would suggest a one inch curling wand or iron. I'm pretty sure I have a tutorial about how I curl my hair on IG TV and on YouTube. I never use YouTube anymore, but there is one there but I basically just curl all around my head and I try to leave the last inch and a half or two inches of my hair like the ends I leave those loose so that they're straight, it just looks better. It doesn't look as you know Annie Ringlock curls, it's more relaxed and I often after curling my whole head I let my whole head cool before brushing through or tasseling anything. I found that that helps hold my curls longer when they're allowed to cool before kind of forcing them to relax with a brush or my hands or whatever. And then once my curls have cooled I'll use a Mason Pearson boar bristle brush Say that five times fast to brush through my curls and soften them a bit and I love that one over other brushes because it leaves them looking kind of soft and vintagey like softer waves versus tight curls and it also keeps it from looking stringy. I feel like sometimes other brushes can leave your hair looking PC and it doesn't do that. Alright, I'm going to answer one more question and like I said earlier on in the episode if I didn't get to your question I have a list that I'm going to go through for future episodes. And I'll answer your question then. But this last question is, I have two dating app questions. What's your first line slash question on a dating app? And how long do you talk to guys before insisting on moving to in person? This is a great question. And I think I've said this on an earlier episode, but I have kind of taken a break from dating apps. I was I got into RIAA earlier this fall. And I like played on it for a bit, but I haven't gone on a date from it. And I haven't I still have my accounts on hinge and Bumble, I think, but I honestly never look at them. I've been too busy with the holidays and social plans and being in Austin and all that stuff. But who knows, maybe I'll try it again in 2022. But I'm taking a break for now I just, you know, I'm I don't have my whole heart in it.
But I can offer some suggestions. So for me, I like to respond to things in their profiles. So whether that's a photo, or one of their prompts, I try to find something interesting to me from their profile that I actually can have a conversation about or ask them about it is a little difficult, because not all men on the dating apps are very forthcoming with information, or just keep it really simple. And just like basic photos of their faces, which makes it hard to start a conversation because you literally don't know anything about this person. So the people I generally am interested in talking to are the ones that have more on their profile, whether that's photos of their travels, or something about what they do for a living or things that they like to do on the weekends or whatever, there's usually something I can respond to. And that's generally how I start, I'm not just like, hey, how's your weekend, you kind of got to start with something that's asking them more about themselves versus just like, what's the weather, my biggest irritation with the dating apps is a lot of the times, if I do respond to something like a prompt or a photo, they'll respond back without asking a question. It's like, why did you match with me at all, if you are not going to have a conversation that then leads to a date. So right away, you can sort of tell what the guy is like if they don't ask a question in return to your question. After answering your question. Same can be said of a first date. Like that really irritates me when men don't, you know reciprocate with questions and keep the conversation going, like how do you expect to have a fun conversation? So anyway, you can probably tell within the first few, you know, lines of talking to somebody on an app if they're eventually going to ask you out, because they'll either continue the conversation and ask you questions, or they won't, and it'll fall flat. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to ask somebody out on a date, who doesn't seem that interested in going out with me, because they're not conversing with me on the app? What makes me think they're going to do that on a first date. I would personally prefer the guy to make the move and ask me out, but if he's having a conversation with me, and it's continuing to happen, he's asking me questions. I'm asking him questions, and he hasn't made a move, I might suggest, are you free for drinks next week or something like that, but generally, I would prefer the guy to do that. That's just I'm old school that way. And then in terms of how long to wait before moving it to in person, honestly, I'm trying to get off this app as soon as fucking possible. So if we're having a good conversation flow in this thing, after a couple of days, I'll make a suggestion I'm not trying to like talk on the phone with this guy. I'm not trying to have like long chats over the app, like let's move it to a bar or a restaurant or whatever. Now other people may have another opinion on that but I'm on my phone so much because of my job that I don't want to be on there dealing with a dating app. I honestly forget to check it and I'll lose interest after a couple of days. So like, if it's not happening, if it's clear that the conversation isn't going anywhere I'll just unmapped with that person. Or if you know the conversation is going somewhere after the first couple of messages and it's like consistent then I'll make a suggestion of let's go get drinks. Alright guys, that concludes our beck and call q&a bonus episode. I hope you enjoyed it and that I tried to get to as many questions as I could under an hour that's what I decided as I was doing this this one took a bit longer than I expected to put together but I hope you guys enjoyed it. I'll do another one of these in the next couple months so you can submit more questions if you want. Be sure to call the hotline because I love getting the voicemail questions I can obviously read them aloud but hearing from you guys is really fun. So call in at 214-620-0473 to ask me anything and I will answer in a future bonus episode or in just singular one off episodes at the end of the episode like I normally do. So thank you so much for listening. Be sure to rate review, subscribe and share and follow along on Instagram at beck and call podcast and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and I will catch you guys next week. Bye!
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